This blog is to share my thoughts on Home as a Holy Place. Twenty-five years of marriage and children have brought many adventures that teach me daily home can be sacred ground. Wherever we seek Christ and whenever He reaches into our lives the holiness begins.

The Dangers of Complaining

This is the title of a brief essay I asked my 11 year old daughter to write.  We have been studying Moses and and the children of Israel in the wilderness in home school.  One of their chief characteristics at this point seems to be their constant murmuring and powerlessness to act responsibly.  I'm sure at least part of that must be a result of coming out of a slavery culture with little freedom. 

Part of her essay is as follows:

"If you complain bad things can happen. In the wilderness the children of Israel complained and God told Moses to tell the Israelites to go back to a certain place until they died off. ...God doesn't like it when we complain.  Complaining is a bad thing because nothing is too hard for the Lord.  Complaining is also a way of showing your ungratitude.  The Israelites complained when God just sent them manna and nothing else.  Then He sent them quail and did not thank Him... Instead of complaining we should solve the problem ourselves!  Instead of complaining we could pray to Heavenly Father to help us too.  He does answer everyone's prayers.  If we complain it usually makes the problem worse and brings down everyone else.  If you complain, it makes it so that in the future your brain is trained that whenever there is a problem you need to complain.  Then you are not a very happy person.  God doesn't want us to complain!" 

Insightful!  Our capacity to be grateful, trust God and see blessings is at stake here.  Our ability to act with power and faith is a critical characteristic here.  Brain training is an issue here.

I was reading from Man's Search For Meaning.  Victor Frankl described the prisoners that were set free.  He said initially the prisoners had a difficult time comprehending freedom.  This made me think.  Do we have a difficult time comprehending the tremendous power, strength and freedom available to each one of us?  Or do we complain and act helpless when we fail to find options?  Complaining is easy.  Really easy.  Maybe that is why we do it.  We recently watched the movie The 10 Commandments together. It is easier to see how futile complaining is in that setting.  But we still forget.  It is easy to forget.  Really easy.  Somewhere between burnt toast for breakfast, broken cars, health challenges and more, we fail to see the many good things that are before us daily. To see the good all around us is a pattern worth fighting for - every day. I'm grateful for the incredible examples of my parents, through their challenges, they never complain.  It is a stunning contrast to the common patterns around us.

There are many circumstances that are truly difficult.  There are difficult situations that should cause us to raise our concerns and complaints through avenues that are productive. This issue here isn't if there is or is not something to complain about, it is about how we move forward.  I love this quote by Hartman Rector Jr. for that reason:

"This ability to turn everything into something good appears to be a godly characteristic. Our Heavenly Father always seems able to do this. Everything, no matter how dire, becomes a victory to the Lord. Joseph, although a slave and wholly undeserving of this fate, nevertheless remained faithful to the Lord and continued to live the commandments and made something very good of his degrading circumstances. People like this cannot be defeated..."  Live Above the Law to be Free - Ensign Jan 1973

My sister had close to 30 surgeries in 10 years following a waterskiing accident.  She died at age 31. I'll tell you what I saw.  Pain, difficulty and disappointment beyond belief.  Back surgery, stomach surgeries, shoulder surgery and eventually an ileostomy doesn't even begin to cover the medical intervention in her behalf.  Years of broken dreams and restructuring of expectations.  I'll tell you what else I saw and heard.  Toward the end of her life as difficulties arose, she said, "What do I need to learn this time? Let's learn it and move on."  Although she died, she was not defeated - people like that "cannot be defeated."    They bless the lives of all around them for generations.