December Reflections on Christ

The Light of the World

Shines into my darkness,

Gently takes me by the hand,

Shows me my weakness and tutors me.

He finds where I am hid.

The Life of the World

Hears my cry and sees my distress.

He takes my despair

And breathes truth into my weary mind,

Encouraging my heart to beat again.

He teaches me His plan is vastly superior to mine.

He helps me see the miracles that abound.

He teaches me to trust Him,

To let go of the world, and my way

To make space for Him -

The merciful, and perfect Son of God.

-Diane

For the joy of human love,

Brother, sister, parent, child,

Friends on earth, and friends above,

For all gentle thoughts and mild,

Lord of all, to thee we raise

This our hymn of grateful praise.

---For the Beauty of the Earth

I marvel at the PEOPLE and give thanks - the fellow passengers of planet earth and the joy of human love they bring! We are connected - as brothers, sisters, cousins, family - we are truly connected by common ancestors, common challenges and common needs. And while connected we are so different as well. In the current culture that emphasizes the divisiveness of people, I wish this season to contemplate the beauty, complexity and diversity of people as a stunning blessing. 

I think of my corner of the world with its people I love dearly, those that I raised and those that raised me. I adore my family, my husband and each of my children. We bump against each other sometimes in challenging ways and often in joyful ways. I appreciate their perspectives, talents and capacity to love. I love them for their tenacity, grace and willingness to overlook weaknesses and lend their hearts and hands. Parents, brothers, sisters, husband, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, each so like me and yet so different. I hope my life reflects back the goodness I see in them.

For similar reasons I cherish my friends, neighborhood, community, nation and world. In my community there are kindred spirits who give freely and love abundantly. I value both our similarities and our differences. I'm grateful for the joy and love of children, and the vibrance of youth; they speak from their heart and seek to make the world a better place. The fire of their spirits and the light in their eyes encourages me to be a better person. My neighbors, teach me what it means to be kind and to listen.

Many people came before me, and did hard things that have made my life easier. Many people who will come after me, those who aren't born yet, and I honor them. I love those who became musicians and artists who comfort and inspire. I'm grateful for the poets and writers who have written the words and authored the books bringing insight and understanding - for builders, farmers and every contribution to humanity. The amazon truck driver, the kind grocer and the man who fixed my frig this summer. How marvelous to be surrounded by people of all ages, all walks, all races, all hearts.

I'm grateful for the people I've met in Chile, Italy and Jerusalem. I'm grateful for the people I met from Africa and South America at the United Nations, both in New York and Salt Lake. I love learning about other cultures and nations. The more we learn, the more we are able to understand and love.

I'm grateful for PEOPLE - fellow passengers on planet earth - those I know, those I read about in books, articles and news events, and those I have yet to meet. I believe their unique perspectives, talents, and examples of kindness are part of the joy of human love. I believe If we knew each other's stories we would laugh and cry together.  I believe greater understanding would result as we appreciate and listen to each other. I believe in the majesty, diversity and joy that comes from people past, present and future.

Call to Action for American Families

Most of America, my neighbors, and family were appalled by the incivility at the first 2020 presidential debate.  When I turned off the event that evening, I felt empty, confused, and disillusioned. 

Boyd Matheson, helped me process the disaster in his article, "Tuesday's Debate Had No Winner, just 320 Million Losers."  https://www.deseret.com/2020/9/30/21495454/presidential-debate-trump-biden-chris-wallace-winner-america-loser    He said, "Sometimes when it becomes impossible to describe what something is, it is easier to outline what it is not." In other words what did not happen? Leadership, vision and inspiration did not happen. Accountability and humility were missing. Compassion was lost. No innovation or persuasion. No humor or hope. The values and virtues I would wish for my children were blatantly absent in the debate.

How did this happen? Boyd Matheson asked the brilliant question of who bears the responsibility for the tenor and tone for the conversations in this country?  He said, 

"Presidents, politicians and other elected officials bear immense responsibility for setting the tone and tenor for the conversations in the country. But they don’t own those conversations — the American people do. To blame a president for the lack of civility, compassion, integrity or respect in the country absolves citizens of their responsibility... This is a “we the people” issue."

Truth bomb! What if what we saw was in part a reflection of us? What if it were a mirror of what we allow in our homes, interactions, and social media? What if the vitriol nature of the communication online and in violent protests were the logical companions of what we saw on the first debate? As parents, we set the bar for what is acceptable in our homes. As a people we set the bar for what is acceptable in our nation. Is there a call here to raise vision, accountability and compassion to just name three missing virtues? How would a raised bar look in our homes and the nation? Do I model, teach and talk about these values in my home? Do I refuse to deal with real issues and argue about the irrelevant and trivial? Do I seek to inspire or do I shrink from principled action and accountability?  I found myself wanting.  I can improve. Many more questions could be asked of all of us as we contemplate what the presidential debate might be teaching us about us. 

And what can "we the people do?" We can ponder what is lost. Our sadness, or anger at what isn't, can help us identify what is missing in our society. Then we can accept the personal charge to take missing virtues and nurture them in our homes, neighborhoods and social media circles. What triggered us most about the interactions in the first presidential debate? What does that tell us to focus on creating in our homes? Inspiring leadership is to live higher than the surrounding culture. This charge echoes the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi, part of which reads: 

St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace!

That where there is hatred, I may bring love.

That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness.

That where there is discord, I may bring harmony.

That where there is error, I may bring truth.

That where there is doubt, I may bring faith. 

That where there is despair, I may bring hope                            ... 

We can walk away from that debate in disgust and scorn, or we can dig deep into our souls and homes, and consciously choose to create something better. Responding with greater light than what we are marinating in is the essence of leadership and parenthood.  I believe Heavenly Parents gave us that charge. That is the call to my soul and to all Americans. Be what you did not see. Live what you did not hear. Create the missing piece of responsible leadership in America. 

Family Stories Matter

I closed the book because it was getting late. My children wanted to the story to go on.  But tomorrow was coming. I placed the book on the mantle and tucked everyone in. By the next morning one child had read several more chapters. This story of reading before bedtime was repeated hundreds of times in their childhood. I smile as I reflect on the wonderful reading memories over the years together. Those stories bonded us and made us who we are.  Stories created vision for our future and meaning for our past. 

This was the theme of my first online course! Family Stories Matter, the title of my course shared how the power is in the stories we read, tell, create and live every day in our families. I was so excited to share the things I learned with other parents last July in the first beta group.  In the creation of six modules, I began to articulate some of the deeply treasured knowledge acquired over the years. https://www.familystoriesmatter.com/

So here I share a tiny glimpse into the thesis of the course. This is the beginning path to give your family values, voice and vision through the stories you read and tell.  

What do you value? How will you pass it on? What matters to you most? God? Freedom? Family? Loyalty? Compassion? Justice? Education? Define what your top values are, then read the books to your children that articulate those values. Talk about the values as you read together. David, in the book "Just David" by Eleanor Porter comes off the clear clean mountains of the Alps into an unknown culture, foreign in its values. He struggles to makes sense of it and as we watch him struggle we see our culture and its values in a new light. This story was one of my son's favorite reads and creates space for valuable family values discussion.  The story "I Am Malala" by Malala Yousafzai creates space for discussing the value and price of education and freedom.  Consider the values of what you read and watch because those books, and those movies instill values into the minds and hearts of your children. 

How do stories give impetus to voice? The stories that fire your children's hearts, will become the seedbed of the stories they share from their souls to the world. Their passion becomes their voice. The simplest of beginnings may be a story about a kind act such as Mary in "Ordinary Mary's Extraordinary Deed" by Emily Pearson who gives blueberries to her neighbor, starting a chain of kindness that influences the world. The way you encourage your child's desires and talents will give voice to the style and manner they share their message with others. It may be music, sports, architecture, poetry, whatever their unique gifts are will manifest the style of message your children send. And you as a parent, will share your voice powerfully as you carefully choose stories of value and merit shaping and passing the values on.

Your stories define your family vision. Whether conscious or not, the stories you read and tell, live and share, become the panorama of life before your children's eyes, ears and heart. With intention, deliberately craft a vision for you family. Does it include adventure? Read Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss, then plan adventure together. Define what adventure looks like for your family.  Is your vision one of family kindness? Read "My Father's Dragon" by Ruth Stiles Gannett and set a goal as a family to look for those who need your kindness and act on it. Your vision becomes real as you act on your ideas after reading the stories of others modeling that vision.

It seems almost too simple, but the power of stories in our children's hearts will drive their imagination and understanding throughout their lives. Great things turn on small hinges. Your family values, voice and vision lies in your hands. Choose carefully the stories that build your values, voice and vision. As has been said of freedom and belief, we are always one generation away from losing values we hold dear.  

Your Family Stories Matter. 

Let your voice be heard. Teach your children.

Rituals

I've gazed on the pyramids of Egypt and walked to their center and strolled through the temple complexes of Luxor. I've seen the prayers written on small pieces of paper tucked in cracks of massive stone blocks that compose the Western Wall of Jerusalem. I've walked through the ruins of Ancient Rome, the Coliseum, and the Roman Forum. I've read of Chichén Itzá in Mexico and reflected on the Native American Hopi Dances. These remains of large structures and events speak from the stones and the dances of cultures, values and identity of peoples of long ago. One senses the grandeur of something now vanished and the unknown and unspoken power of rituals and practices that bound people together.  

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There are striking similarities in these structures and events of  passages returning home, religious rituals acknowledging a higher power, traditions of judgment, justice, mercy as well as celebrations of planting, harvest and renewal. 

I'm fascinated by the deliberate and intentional effort to preserve meaning, culture, customs, identity and values through the elaborate construction, detailed dances and even small bundles that can be carried in ones hands. Recently I read of a gathering of objects into a sacred bundle by the Pawnee Indians. Something similar existed in Aztec, Mayan and other Native American cultures as well. This sacred bundle was handed down from mother to daughter through the maternal lines. In a ritual the men could open it and use its contents. 

One such sacred bundle belonged to Sadie, a pawnee girl. In 1873, Sioux warriors attacked a Pawnee tribe who were hunting. Her father tied her to a horse, slipped a treasured peace medal around her neck, and bound the sacred bundle to her back, with instructions to care for it. Sadie guarded the bundle carefully, but as both her parents were killed in battle, her father could not pass along the ritual use of the bundle and it could not be opened. It remained in the family as a symbol of their spiritual heritage. Several generations later, the Pawnee descendant donated the sacred bundle to the Kansas Historical Society, where it is today, unopened and above the lodge's altar. 

Several years ago a garden hoe was buried with my father in the cement vault with his casket. It was a powerful symbol of an ordinary object that he used to bring forth the bounties of the earth. His ritual actions of planting in the spring, harvesting in the fall, and sharing his bounty with others were personal trademarks. Most importantly he shared this ritual side by side with his children and grandchildren because of his passion to pass on the value of work to the next generation. 

This leads me to ask: How do you pass on your culture and identity to your future generations? How do you share your values with your children? 

My simply attempt to create ritual of meaning and value is in the manner of the sacred bundle, in the order of the pyramids and with the intensity of a Hopi dance. As each child gets married I plan to give them a treasure chest. Inside the treasure chest I will place:

• Faith Book: A gathering of stories of their ancestors who loved God and looked to Him for answers. The book also contains the faith of each member of their family, their experiences and understandings of the workings of God in their lives. A small history of our lives is included.

• Seed packets: Representative of working with God and the earth to produce food to eat and share together.

• Money for a repenting bench: (A bench will not fit in the small chest.) A place to sit and remind oneself that if we look within, we can find something to change in each of us when contention occurs.

• Fabric for a flag: Decide what your family stands for, write it on a flag and live by and wave that flag.

• Zionizer: This is an empty cardboard tube. When you look through it, you consciously choose to see something better and make it better than it was. It is a fun family practice. 

• Dry erase chore chart: Each child can find self worth in contributing to the lives of others. They also develop compassion as they take on responsibilities that influence the wellbeing of others.

• Egermeier Bible Story Book: The best children's bible book that tells the stories, engagingly and preserves and teaches faith in God.

Bestowing the treasure chest will be a ritual when a child leaves home. While the treasure chest consists of just objects, quite ordinary, the real monument is what they create with their family. The most meaningful structure they could create is a strong marriage and children who love God and their fellowman. The objects were simply symbolic of the values and path to get there. The families being created every day will be far more influential than all the pyramids, temple complexes and sacred bundles in the world. I look to the rituals.  Rituals create our identity and direction.  I believe that is what we want for our children - rituals that will tell the story of who they are, rituals that will bond and connect them to those who went before and preserve the values that make for a faith filled, strong, kind, and free society, one that will be of value to the world they live in. 

Passing the Baton

The wintertime of 1932 was a desperate time for my Dad growing up. There was little money left from harvesting the crops and my grandfather Cyril needed cash for his family. Many men in the community went to California to find work to sustain their families. A state road project in a nearby canyon accepted Cyril's application for him and his team of horses. The family was happy that their Dad had found local work and there might even be a Christmas. Near the first of December, his wife Rachel helped him put on a sheep lined overcoat to protect against the below zero temperatures and prepared a small lunch as he left for his newfound work and the family dreamed of unfamiliar prosperity. 

From my Dad's history we read:

On the second or third day of my father's employment...he came home in the middle of the day. My mother expressed great concern to why he was home...He then informed Mother that his responsibility on the road project was to use his team of horses to remove dirt from a high area down to another area to cover the pipe or culvert they were installing under the roadway. He then explained to Mother...that the men were complaining that he was delivering too much dirt before they could successfully shovel it around the culvert. After the second or third complaint from the men that my father was working too hard and making more work for the men than they desired, the foreman of the contract stated to Father, "Unless you slow down and the men stop complaining, we don't need your help anymore."

 

This, to my father, was surrendering his honesty and integrity for an honest day's work. If he could not do an honest day's work for an honest day's pay, then he would not work. So after the third admonition by the foreman, my father was asked to leave the job and his employment was terminated. 

My mother said, "Is it that important for your position, that you would sacrifice the precious cash that we need for the family?"

My father then went out to the barn and found other work for the next couple days to keep himself busy and to keep his mind off of the problems that he had created because of his stance for honesty and integrity.

It was either on the second or third day after the episode that the same foreman stood at our front door ...and asked if he could come into our home. ...He then said to both of them that they had tried to get other teams of horses and other men and scrapers to pull the dirt down from the top of the hill on to the pipe and culvert, but none could do the job..."Would you consider my apology for our position and your determination to do the right thing and will you come back and do the work? The men have all agreed they will not complain about your efforts."

This made a deep impression on my Dad of the value of hard and honest work. Later in life he said, "My life in addition to other objectives is to help my grandsons to learn the blessings of work." His goal has been a great blessing to me because he spent thousands of hours teaching my children skills and working by their side. The gifts of personal empowerment and self worth that working gives growing children is one of the greatest gifts my father gave me, and my children. 

He marveled later in life as he traveled that he, the boy who slept with the turkeys, could enjoy the incredible places this world has to offer, a world unknown to his parents. The capacity to work hard, and play hard, to feel gratitude for the blessings that hard work brought to him, kept him from a sense of entitlement. His example of work and gratitude is a lasting heritage and legacy I hope to pass on to my children and grandchildren. This story will be one of the ways I pass that baton.

Let it Begin with Me

Let There Be Peace On Earth was a song I sang in the 70's. The song is more relevant today yet the goal farther away. The next line in the song says, and let it begin with me. 

Where do answers begin for the national unrest, violence, and rioting? How do wrongs get righted? How does a nation heal from the divide and racial tension? If violence is met with more violence, we have more violence. What if, the acknowledgement of our inhumanity and racist practices brought us to personal reflection and thoughtful kind action instead? What if each of us considered those we know of differing cultures or races and we reached out in kindness? What if we made necessary adjustments in our capacity to love and respect others? What if our awareness brought us to engage in acts of kindness or service we might not have otherwise done? 

From USA Today: Jamil Zaki, a Stanford professor who studies kindness, explained its role in the current movement. “People often ask me why I titled my book 'The War for Kindness',” he said, implying that kindness and fighting are incompatible. “I don't think they are. In a culture of increasing inequality, loneliness and anger, we must fight back to reclaim our common humanity. In today's world, kindness is a radical act.”

One day one of my children came home from school having been bullied by a neighbor. At first, my husband and I were indignant and thought surely if the parent is made aware, the situation will right itself. Instead, after discussion our child took cookies to the door of the neighbor guilty of bullying. There never was another incidence with bullying from that neighbor.  

Now I'm not naive enough to think that chocolate chip cookies will solve the severe and brutal injustices that occur. I'm not so ignorant to believe that just being kind solves all world ills. I'm not suggesting we do away with courts, law and punishments. But I am simple enough to believe that beginning within ourselves, our families and in our homes, we can add kindness. It's possible the sum of many simple kind words and acts are the math will make the world that much better.  

A fascinating ancient war story is told of a war loving group that came to know God's love and wanted to show their remorse for their blood thirsty past. They literally dug a pit and threw their weapons in. Yes, in future wars, some died without their weapons, but many of their aggressors, changed their lives because of the humility and conviction of those they were killing. 

In the popular movie of the 50's, Ben Hur, the main character Judah Ben Hur is obsessed with revenge for the malicious and hardened Masala, who betrayed him and caused him years of slavery in the galleys and imprisonment for his sister and mother. Esther, a family servant watching this anger and says in a moment of truth to Ben Hur, "It is as if you had become Masala!"  If we are not careful we can become what we hate. We can be guilty of what we accuse. 

Looking inward at who we are and for any way we might be contributing to the problem is the first step toward healing. Acknowledging, and appreciating the legion of kind acts during this pandemic by individuals, families, neighborhoods, companies, and groups everywhere who see a need and take action can help us focus on the kindness that is part of our global DNA. Taking active steps to live with respect and dignity towards others and teaching our children is another critical step. Every response that pushes the darkness back brings a little more light and kindness into this world. Let it begin with each of us.

Contentment

I started out with one nice lambs ear plant many years ago. Now I have many lambs ear plants. They tend to be aggressive and spread out. They are a nice silver, grey, blue color with a small purple flower on it and are soft as, well, a lambs ear. So I let the lambs ear plant grow near a mum. I didn't protect the mum and the lambs ear pushed the mum, then grew over the mum and eventually choked out the mum. I let something good take over something better. And I want to stop doing that. 

There is no end to the things and opportunities we can add to our lives. There is no end to  good things. But if we aren't careful these many good things crowd out the best things in our lives and choke them out. For instance, outside events may crowd out sacred, family time together. Too many things keep us too busy taking care of those things, and crowd out contentment. Too many activities can crowd out personal, rejuvenating quiet time for our souls. For the last 20 years roughly, there has been an explosion of information, opportunities, connections, ideas, products, gadgets, things, in the name of comfort, ease, convenience and progress. As we add these things, we feel like we are progressing. And progress is not bad. For instance the convenience of online shopping can simplify and save time. (I love amazon prime-theoretically that is, after I've researched 14 similar items and read 492 reviews.) But does our pursuit of good things choke out the essential? Do our opportunities crowd out our connections to self, others and God? 

Our current culture also shows that the relentless pursuit of more of everything and perhaps the accompanying illusion of progress is parallel with a rise in stress and anxiety.  And many of us keep going for more, more, and more. More of everything. In this quarantine space of slowing down, I'm discovering less is more. We are cleaning out spaces in our cupboards and on our calendars and our souls during these weeks of quarantine. We are taking out the aggressive lambs ear and making space for the mums of conversation, connection and introspection. And with that I am experiencing a feeling and value, rarely applauded and  somewhat foreign to our culture called contentment. Contentment is the peace and prize of knowing priorities are in place and what is enough. It is the work that no one can do for another. Only we ourselves, can call out and subtract what is crowding out the things we value most. 

Herein is the tension of the competing values of progress vs contentment -the challenge described by Richard A. Swenson, MD as "We have the honor of living in the most interesting time in the past 2000 years. It is an emotional challenge, an intellectual feast and a spiritual privilege."  One of the opportunities in this pandemic is to slow down and meet the challenge of finding the prize and price of contentment in a culture of abundance and progress. It is the challenge of what to let grow and what to cut back. In the face of all that is available, contentment may yet find its way to be the new prize of the 21st century, as it was centuries ago.

My crown is in my heart, not on my head, 

Nor decked with diamonds and Indian stones.

Nor to be seen: my crown is called content: 

A crown it is, that seldom kings enjoy. 

- Shakespeare

Slowing Down

Move! Hurry! Faster! More! I don't have time!

Guilty. These phrases describe how I thought for many years up until March 2020 when life slowed down because of the worldwide pandemic and subsequent quarantine. Our quarantine experience I recognize may be drastically different from areas that are hard hit by the corona virus. 

While people in the medical, food and education fields may have out of necessity accelerated their lives, for many families with busy lifestyles, most activities came to a screeching halt. And that halt for me brings a renewing and healing.I'd like to share my story of the previous weeks and focus on the gifts that have come to us in this time of slowing down and uncertainty. One night, as we were eating clam chowder in bread bowls my son prepared for the family, sharing perspectives, laughing, and cleaning the kitchen together, I was moved by how connected each person was to each other. I felt gratitude that each family member was so interested in each other's lives and I felt overwhelming gratitude as I cherished these moments. While each has school and or work responsibilities, our daily gatherings together are full of warmth and love. The love shows up in one child's homemade pizzas, another's African burritos, another's willingness to water the garden, the hilarious easter egg hunt, and willingness to help each other with creative projects such as flying cardboard airplanes, chocolate chip cookies and making soap. Memories of nerf gun wars, hammock readathons and watching inspiring videos fill my heart with gratitude. Piano music, duets and singing fill the air. Hymns, classical, Disney, "Let it Go" and "Over the Rainbow bring a smile to my soul. I'm especially grateful for meaningful conversations, planning and apologies. Most of all I'm grateful for the scripture sharing and weekly opportunity to worship God together. Yes, there have been a few short lived clashes, and yes we have irritating habits and problems, but that isn't what defines this sacred and beautiful time together. 

My story of these last few weeks is also one of facing weaknesses. It is a time to own my emotions and my actions - a time to face poor habits that have brought anxiety to myself and unhappiness to others. It is a time to make new commitments and keep them. My new story is one of breathing deeply, pondering carefully, journalling questions and answers. Slowly but surely, I feel more connection to God and to my family. This story is the story I want to grow as I embrace new habits and changes.  Each family's experience is unique. For me, these last few weeks have brought gifts of connection, peace and focus.

The current global pandemic is a story that will be told for years to come, but there is another story even more important. That story is the story of you and your family during this space of quarantine time and what follows it. What will be your story?  What defines your days in the current changes and challenges you face? And if there is heartache, grief and suffering, I hope our story will be to help alleviate the suffering in your story. For those who are experiencing a brief respite from the busyness of life, the slowing down offers a chance for renewal, opportunities for connection within the walls of our home and space to ponder and focus on what matters most in our lives. 

...we would do well to slow down a little,... 

focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, 

and truly see the things that matter most. 

-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

What Are You Holding On To?

What do you hang on to? Where is your stability? What is constant for you in the current global pandemic?  Various levels of quarantine from "social distancing," to "hard quarantine," the world as we know it turned on end in March. With all social events cancelled, economic, physical, and emotional challenges all around us, many of us are wondering what happened? When my locality experienced a 5.7 earthquake shortly after the pandemic, I found myself asking, What is certain? What do I know? What do I hold onto at times like this? 

I'd like to suggest the simple power of our words and our stories are the places we reach in order to sustain, continue and endure in difficult times. Our words and stories are key to our emotional and mental survival. That which our mind feeds upon and reaches for becomes the reality of our thinking and basis for action. When we become aware of our thoughts we can consciously create and and choose them. Without that skill it is all too easy to fall into fearful and chaotic thinking. As we bring order to our own thinking we help our children bring order to theirs. We can choose the words and stories we focus on, so that we can be part of the solution and not part of the collective world fear. May I share a two brief resources of words and stories I draw upon:

• My Father, now an angel on the other side of mortality, said almost every day of his life, "Let's go!" Never one to fret, whine or complain, my Dad made a plan, then with his famous - "Let's go!' began implementing the plan. An experience from my childhood also comes to mind, when August storms and wind threatened to destroy the corn crop that my brothers had worked so hard to grow. If the crop were destroyed, so would their mission and home ownership goals be destroyed. Our family knelt in prayer that night as my Dad called upon heaven to temper the elements. The storm ceased and the corn was saved. 

• And from holy writ: 
• Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths   -Proverbs 3:5-6
• The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. -Psalm 18:2

I reach for words and for my stories. I know that words have power to calm. I have seen the power of words to comfort. I have heard words of cheer. I have felt confidence that God rules in the heaven, and can bring understanding solace and stability back to individuals, families and nations according to their faith and His will. 

                                Pixnio

The First Political Order

I heard this idea the other day and I've been thinking hard about it for days. "Husband and wife are the first political order - and the first grass roots organization." I heard this idea from Valerie Hudson, Bush School of Government and Public Service, Texas A&M University recently. Valerie Hudson pointed out that how women are treated in the home, is how the nation goes. If women are not treated well, the nation is almost without exception a violent nation. I propose that as the family goes, so the nation goes. Here, I’d like to focus  on the power of the family unit as a political order - given that a possible definition of a political order is the way people living in groups make decisions about education, economics, health, laws, conflict, values, and caring for others. Whether conscious or not, how parents set up their homes in these areas is reflected in the national state of affairs and conversation. 

So what do I mean? 

Lets look at economics or family finances. Who provides for the family? Do children have responsibilities? Chores? Do they pay for any of their own things? Are they given an allowance or earn an allowance? If children are expected to earn and pay for various things, it is likely they will have an attitude of contribution and responsibility. If they expect mom and dad to pay for everything, is help always outside themselves? Do they expect the government to take care of them as they grow into adulthood? Simple family economics are part of the larger national economic conversation of personal responsibility vs. national responsibility. 

Lets look at education. In the family, who decides what the child learns? Who reads to the child? What do they read? What values are taught in these early years? Do they learn honesty? Compassion? I know families that regularly read classic literature then discuss the character and values taught. The parents decide the child's first curriculum of books and values. Those types of books and values become what is reflected in the schools. The curriculum will reflect the values of the homes in the community, and the values of the media they allow in their home. If in the home, there is no moral education, no emphasis on honesty and morality, should we be surprised if our schools are valueless and promote risky sexual behavior? Are we surprised when our national leaders lack integrity? 

Lets look at law and order. Who decides the rules of the home? Who enforces the rules? What do the rules do for the family? What happens when children don't keep the rules? What if there are no rules? I know families that have meetings that identify rules, and consequences then they follow through with compassion and love. Children can learn cause and effect, personal responsibility or they can learn to complain, blame, and justify. How does this home order translate on the national political order? If there isn't respect for home law, should we be surprised when people cheat at work or in their business dealings? Surprised when leaders and companies are dishonest? Then rationalize and justify? 

Let's look at caring for the poor. I know a family that chooses a community service for each child's birthday. Do children raised like that feel a responsibility to serve their neighbor? Or if we take care of ourselves only, should we be surprised if we expect the government to take care of everybody with no personal effort on our part?  

Parents, the first political order, are acting daily in those areas of education, economics, health, laws, conflict, values, and caring for others. While we don't usually use those terms,  those activities are exactly what is being played day after day in the homes of the nation. The first political order is what sets the tone for the community. As the family sets up order, values and practices, so the national security, national sovereignty and national happiness is molded, influenced, and created. As we witness the difficulties and challenges of our nation, we might well look to the home; where order is created first. 

Life is Sacred

My mind is on babies and my belief that life is sacred. This post is to share my heart and views on one of the most divisive and controversial issues in America. This post is neither comprehensive nor thorough, but observational, personal and heartfelt.

Recently I watched "Unplanned," a movie telling the true story of Abby Johnson who resigned from her position as clinic director from Planned Parenthood after witnessing an abortion. The movie exceeded box office predictions grossing 21 million worldwide. It is the moving story of Abby who regretted her own two abortions and her participation in killing thousands of babies at the Planned Parenthood Clinic. She joins the pro life movement and exposes the purpose of financial gain from killing the unborn. The images were graphic and the story compelling.  The after story is Abby Johnson creates "And Then There Were None" (ATTWN), a registered nonprofit organization that exists to help abortion clinic workers leave the abortion industry. Hundreds have left the industry since the movie came out in 2019.

Last week, I attended our state capitol pro life rally. Dusty Johns, the keynote speaker, shared her heart wrenching story of family abuse and her decision to abort her child conceived in an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend and mother encouraged her to have the abortion. She described the abortion as painful, compassionless and humiliating. She tells others her story in the hope of preventing other mothers from going through the same experience.

My son and my daughter attended the rally as well. They share my view that life is sacred. I asked my daughter what her takeaway was and she answered "the ripple effect." The ripple effect describes what abortion leads to in society. One common argument for abortion is, "its my life, my business." But the ripple effect says, what we do individually, and privately adds to the public attitudes and practices, making it public business. The ripple effect says this is moving outward and reaches other shores. We discussed three ripples effects from abortion:

First. When abortion is legal, condoned and encouraged, it sends the public message, it is okay to kill babies. It leads to marginalization and bigotry. If the size is small enough, the cell count low enough, the sound only a heartbeat, you don't have rights. The easier to obtain abortion, more more accepted it is, the more this idea of privileged and unprivileged groups is perpetuated. It devalues all our lives, if the youngest among us are not valued. 


Second. It perpetuates a public culture of irresponsibility. While a common argument is that women have more freedom with abortion and the "right to control their bodies," the truth is, it actually promotes irresponsible sex and a hook up culture because the consequence of having a baby is eliminated by abortion. The net effect is women pay the price for irresponsible men with uncommitted relationships. If a baby is aborted the woman also pays the emotional and physical price as well. 


Third. It sends a public message that a boundary for convenience can be legislated. Many states have a 24 week ban on abortion. New York recently passed a law that abortion is legal until the day before delivery. Where does that lead? Is it possible then for convenience to make killing legal the day after delivery?  Two days after? Under age two? Older people? Over 92?  What else is inconvenient? 

What we send out, ripples out. I believe in women, men, families, children and babies.  The time spent with my children, and granddaughter is some of the most cherished and growing time of my life. I cherish these relationships. So much can be said of the joy, the simplicity, and the humility of a child. Children love life and we have much to learn from them. They are key to our freedom and happiness. 

I believe in the choice to protect life and the unborn. After hearing Abby Johnson and Dusty John, I also feel that pro-life is pro-woman. Clearly, both women and babies need support. My hope is that the solutions and creative options to help each individual woman and child can be brought to the table so that the bitter and divisive struggle between pro-life and pro-abortion isn't centered on angry accusations and demands but on the fact that life is sacred, and that there are many choices that can preserve the dignity of a woman and the life of the unborn child. I cheer every mother and father on, in their heartfelt efforts to nurture and protect life. The ripple effect from those nurturing, protecting attitudes would make this earth a safer place for all of us. 

________________

...Human rights are not a privilege conferred by government. 

They are every human being's entitlement by virtue of his humanity. The right to life does not depend, 

and must not be declared to be contingent, 

on the pleasure of anyone else, not even a parent or a sovereign." 

-Mother Teresa 

(full quote here: http://www.stjoanofarcchurch.org/Downloads/e8304718-37cb-4c45-81c8-4cb54ae8eb99.pdf)