Helping Others Get Past Barriers

Ahhh...the end of the year, a time for self-reflection and self-assessment. The joy and brutality of reality!  And the great news is: Yes! I can change! The very fact that we can identify where we want to improve is evidence that we can. Name it and claim it! Or name it and forsake it. 

Who are you? And what do you love? What are your strengths? Skills? Fears? Weaknesses? What do you want to be known for? What do you want to overcome? What scares you the most? What gives you peace? What do you have to contribute to others? Who do you want to please?  What will you be glad you did? What will you wish you had done? What holds you back? What motivates you? What do you feel is your life mission? Do you know the answers to those for you as well as the ones you love?

Recently I asked myself some hard questions and wrote down my responses. I was looking for more joy and chose to change some simple routines. One was to be at the crossroads with snacks and a listening ear when the children come home from school.  Another was to make space dailyfor something I love to do. Results often come from small consistent changes. Results also come from compassionate listeners who reflect our thoughts and feelings when we get stuck or have difficulty clarifying or recognizing where the obstacles are.

The day I came home from my little self-assessment, my son met me in the kitchen and  said, "Mom do you want to talk about last night's argument about how to clean up?" I agreed and He said, “You are fearful about meals.” I agreed and he asked, "Why?" With paper and pencil we went through the reasons why and it was an interesting exercise. I had all kinds of negative emotions wrapped up in everything to do with food and it was helpful to identify them. One was that there wasn’t enough time for me to fix food and get my stuff done. Another one was the children won’t turn out right unless they help with home and meals. I listed more reasons on paper.  For two hours he listened to me. He helped me examine my thoughts and face them. The day before he had asked himself, "What is the one thing I could do to help my mom?" His conclusion was to help me walk through my emotional barriers related to food. By the time we were done we had spent about 4 1/2 hours in discussion. We spent half a day to solve this problem! We talked about ownership and strategies, and he walked me out to the freezer where I started to implement some solutions. What a gift of understanding to help me move forward.

The process was a win-win because I was empowered to face a fear and he would get better food! When we help others reach their goals, often we find ourselves reaching our own. Success is often on the other side of helping someone else. Careful listening and understanding can provide entrance to another's heart and insight into our own journey. After this experience I find myself more aware of barriers each of us face and the part I could play in helping others remove blocks and barriers to their goals. So often we find identity and personal power to move forward as others listen carefully to us and express faith in us - a simple but powerful hinge on which progress moves. 

First Steps

Recently I marveled as I held a very young child who locked his legs as I tried to set him down and insisted on walking with my help. Determined! Over and over, he straightened out his legs and clung for dear life to my hands and started moving forward. If he stumbled or fell, he was right back up. 

The room I was in was full of mostly young adults learning to dance, at a Birthday Celebration Regency Ball. These young adults were also taking the first steps of a dance being taught. They stumbled a little, enjoying the challenge, but perhaps not quite as determined as the child. I thought of the first steps of many in the room: first steps of college, first steps of grad school, and first steps at parenting. 

Our entire lives we are taking first steps! First day of school. First day of a job. First day of college. First day of marriage. First day of parenting. Each begins a journey of learning and growth, sometimes painful and hopefully leading to joy. My sweet mom, experiencing first steps of aging and losing independence, stated yesterday, "I have so much to learn!" The aging process is a journey as well. 

Often we experience fear, criticism, self-doubt and failure as we try new things or meet the challenges in our path. And no wonder! Moving forward, taking steps requires courage, bravery, and inner strength. It takes courage to take the steps to change, forgive, listen instead of speak, speak in front of others, try something new, speak up for yourself or others, marry, parent, set boundaries, let go of anger, admit when you are wrong, visit the dentist, and share a dissenting opinion without being disagreeable. All of these are steps that help us gain confidence and independence just like the first steps of a child. 

I chose my favorite ways to take the first steps toward progress, take courage and conquer self-doubt from several readings and my own experiences. I hope by sharing them, you will be encouraged to take steps in your life that carry you forward as well as build strength in your children. Here they are:

• Read. Being well read in a variety of topics gives you the confidence to share and confidence to ask good questions.
• Be disciplined. Consistency gives you hope and confidence in yourself. You can trust yourself.
• Recognize when you are uncomfortable. Acknowledge it and move through it.
• Stand up for your beliefs. 
• Share your struggles and listen to others struggles. Learn from them.
• Dance! Sing! Speak! Write! On your own. By yourself. And in front of others.
• Face the lies in your mind. Put truth in their place.
• Follow ideas and dreams that come to you.
• Get help.
• Acknowledge your weaknesses. Work to change them to strengths.
• Express gratitude. Don't be intimidated by others strengths. Be grateful for them.
• Be vulnerable. Accept that others might not approve or be kind.
• Serve others. You will validate your gifts as you see how they help others.
• Set goals. Confidence comes from many small successes.
• Face and name your fears. Make a plan and follow it. 
• Let go. Trust. 
• Learn from your mistakes. Make a plan and follow it.
• Change your habits, change your schedule, change your thoughts.
• Learn to be a cheerleader for yourself. Celebrate daily what you do right.

“If parents want to give their children a gift, 

the best thing they can do is to teach their children to love challenges, 

be intrigued by mistakes, enjoy effort, and keep on learning. 

That way, their children don’t have to be slaves of praise. 

They will have a lifelong way to build and repair their own confidence.”

-Carol Dweck

Power of One

Kaiden, a spunky and sweet fourteen-year-old friend and neighbor was recently called Home with a capital H. My heart is full of all the sweet interactions I had with her. I think of her spunky smile, her conversation after a church lesson about truth and how good it made me feel that she wanted to talk about the lesson. I remember when I learned she loved photography, she was excited to share some photos and I put a meaningful quote on it for the young women in our neighborhood. I remember her glowing smile as she sat in church and her willingness to share her goals and encourage others. And then I learn at her funeral, she reached out to everyone. She knew how to respond to people in ways that made them feel loved and understood. At her funeral it was said:  

"She had a smile that could be felt around the block. She was the first to introduce herself to others. She said hello to people she didn't know. She showed love to both those she knew and those she didn't know. She had a smile that could change the world."  - Tim Olsen

Kaiden

And she did. While our fears sometimes inhibit us, her courage to reach out, blessed hundreds and her influence is now magnified 1000 fold with her passing. One of the scriptures she had underlined was from JS 1:33: ..."God had a work for me to do." And that is the message I'll remember with Kaiden. God had a work for her on both sides of mortality. I learn from Kaiden, the small and simple is often profound and significant.  

The power of one, to change, reach out, do or say something has the power to tilt the earth one way or the other and each one of us has that power every day. Thank you Kaiden, for teaching us that profound truth the way you lived your life.

___________________________________________________

Your deed can be as simple as making someone feel special, 
reaching out to a lonely person, 
helping a troubled kid find the right path, 

or comforting a friend who needs a shoulder to cry on. 

The fact is that you’ll be changing the world one good deed at a time. 

-Frank Sonnenberg

What Are We Fighting For?

Ahhh!  September 22nd, marked another successful hobbit party. My son creates space each year for friends to gather and honor the hobbits of middle earth. It is always a delightful gathering of young adults who dress up and enjoy chicken legs, mushrooms, potatoes, and radishes. The shire music is in the background as they eat their lembas bread with herbal tea. They make speeches, sing music and have trivia contests. Two blow torches lit the 144 candles on the cake that honored both Bilbo and Frodo together.  (The blow torches were this years brilliant innovation!) 

Perhaps my favorite moment is at the very end of the movie when, Sam, Rosie, and their children go inside their adorable hobbit home and shut the door. And that is one of the incredibly poignant messages!  Right there. All the sacrifice, battles, difficult journeys, and all the soul-wrenching decisions and desperate attempts against all odds, and all the willingness to plunge into darkness and evil to save middle earth, was so the family could reunite and be safe and happy at home. And that moment at the conclusion of the movie, is the culminating event that justifies all that has just transpired. That small scene answers the question: "What are we fighting for?"  Home. Family. Happiness. Two ordinary hobbits; Sam and Frodo played major roles in saving both Middle Earth and the Shire and the home. 

Sam: And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer.
Those were the stories that stayed with you.
That meant something.
Even if you were too small to understand why.
But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand.
I know now.
Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t.
Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo : What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam : That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for. 

- Sam and Frodo in Lord of the Rings

Similarly ordinary people in every country on every continent play major roles in saving their families every day, so that there can be happiness at home when the door closes. It is the good worth fighting for.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:A_Hobbit_House.jpg

What Are You Trading Today?

As a child I remember bringing home the candy after trick or treating on Halloween. So many wonderful pieces of candy! Then the best part was the trading circle. We would bring our piles of candy to the circle and trade. Snickers were better than skittles in my sugar hierarchy and I remember it took a lot of bubblegums to get a snickers.

Perhaps life is a big game of trading. Trading our time and our money for what we think is of most worth is what we do with or without intention every day.  Conversations, education, reading, lessons, media, sports, serving, working, limitless possibilities can be traded for the minutes, hours, days and years. Vacations, lessons, toys, homes, transportation, games, food, and more endless choices are purchased with our pennies and dollars every day. We trade according to our values. Eve traded an apple to lead the human race into mortality and God's plan. Esau traded his birthright for a mess of pottage. Esther risked her security to save a nation from destruction.  The Savior offers a trade: our sins for His grace. We offer our contrite hearts and He gives His spirit, strength and joy. 

As our pocketbooks diminish and the time ticks on the trading goes on and the rules suggest that we become at the end what we have traded to be. What we trade and sacrifice for becomes part of who we are. One of my favorite poems by Anne Campbell speaks of a trade that mothers make.  

You are the trip I did not take, you are the pearls I did not buy,                       You are my blue Italian lake, you are my piece of foreign sky.

You are my Honolulu moon, you are the book I did not write,
You are my heart's unuttered tune, you are a candle in my night. 

You are the flower beneath the snow, in my dark sky a bit of blue,
Answering disappointment's blow with "I am happy! I have you!”

I love that poem! That trade was one one the best I have ever made. With Anne Campbell I say, "I am happy! I have you!" 

Sisters

As I walked out of Walmart this week, my eyes met with another woman about my age and we exchanged a smile and a knowing glance. I'm fairly certain we would be instant friends and have a wonderful conversation, given the chance.

I've been pondering the connection women have with each other. My daughter experienced this connection as she walked over Utah prairie for four days pushing a handcart in a pioneer simulation. The highlight of her experience as well as many others was an event called the women's pull. The women's pull refers to the part of the trail in which the young women and women pushed their handcarts up a steep hill. The men at the top were not allowed to help on this section of the trail. These women of all ages, linked arms at the base of the trail, they talked about the steep trail ahead, acknowledged the power and love of heaven as well as the power and love of each woman there. They talked of the women that went before them - pioneer women. They spoke of angels. Then each went to their handcarts and started the ascent. Many men were in tears and amazed at the determination and power of the women they watched pulling the handcarts. One young man said, "I watched them get to the top, then go back down and help the others, it was awesome." Another commented how humbling it was as a guy to watch that. The inspired leader of the men, told the men, "You will want to help them as you see them coming up. One of the things we learn, is that some challenges we will need to face on our own. There are challenges our loved ones will face on their own. The feeling of helplessness we feel today might be preparation for something further down the road, like a loved one who is ill, or a friend at school with a challenge and sometimes all we can do is offer love and encouragement and be there for them. Think about the role you could take to ease the burden of the women you love in your life."

I saw the photos and videos of these powerful women, perhaps not in stature, but assuredly powerful souls, shoulder to shoulder pulling the handcarts at the front and pushing from behind. Buckets carrying the belongings of both the women and the men weighted each handcart. The strain was visible in each woman, but the determination was even more visible. 

It makes me weep just to see it again in my mind and I'm asking myself why. In a conversation with one of the young men, we determined that both young men and young women felt a deep respect for the load the women carried. He could see that both men and women see, respond and contribute differently, because of the innate and unique gifts of each gender. There on the prairie, on a hot day, in pioneer clothes, in a simulation, that reality was visible and tangible. The sisterhood was visible and tangible.

Sisterhood. Caring. Understanding. Memories include my neighbor who washed my dishes and prepared raspberry tea for me after the birth of one of my children, my amazing and adorable 12-year-old neighbor who knocked on my door last week and said "Did you see the sunset? I didn't want you to miss it!" My sister, who sends the most endearing texts. My mother who expresses her encouragement and faith in me. My daughters, who hug and validate me. The women who helped teach my children as we homeschooled them together. I treasure the conversations I had with women from Africa and the Carribean at the United Nations, with whom I felt a sisterhood. There is nothing like it anywhere! I don't have words to describe that deep and abiding comfort, the validation and understanding that another woman or girl gives. I understand there are many things I must face on my own, but I also sense deeply that other women who face their challenges as well, cheer me on, have my back, and share the victories. My sisters, I love you.

Fathers - We Need You!

An audible "ahhh" of delight and respect came from the international attendees in the room. The speaker at a CSW 61 United Nations session had just shown a picture of his family on the screen.  In the midst of two weeks of discussion about women's rights, women's challenges, women's needs, refugee camps, abuse, trafficking, with almost no discussion of men or fathers, the family picture brought an immediate connection to the hearts of those in the room. Family. Fathers. How can fathers contribute to lasting solutions to strengthen women and families?

Countering the current cultural attitude that fathers are irrelevant for mothers and girls, Timothy Rarick shared research on the emotional, academic, social and mental benefits that girls gain from being raised by engaged fathers. He shared, "Saying men are expendable hurts women. Girls need their fathers." Research shows: "Daughters with absent fathers are twice as likely to live in poverty, commit crime or dropout of high school.  (National Fatherhood Initiative.) Absent fathers, as defined by Rarick, can be either physically absent or emotionally detached. Rarick said in such cases, daughters are seven times more likely to have a teen pregnancy, exhibit behavioral problems and face abuse.

More research shows the type of activities that fathers engage in is different than that of mothers and has distinct benefits for the children. For instance they way they share pretend stories, roughhouse and engage in physical activities such as sports and chores, improves academic and social skills traceable to the unique contribution of an engaged dad.

Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

And that is what I've seen. I remember my Dad, reading and telling me stories, throwing us in the warm springs at Granite Creek, and teaching me how to plant flowers and vegetables. He gave me assignments and followed up on them. His interactions were different than my mom's although their overall goals were the same. I'm grateful for his phone calls, concern and wisdom during my mothering years. I reflect on these influences more tenderly, since his passing and recognize their valuable influence in my life. 

Perhaps a recent interchange from my Dad before he died, reflects his integrity and wisdom. In sharing with my dad my desire of pursuing a course that I felt would teach my children and my frustration at receiving unending resistance prompted him to say, "I struggle with the same thing. You gotta live with yourself. Do what you know is right."

I've watched my husband read stories, join the joyful roughhousing that follows coming home from work and his efforts to encourage and coach soccer. I've watched him teach garden skills, music skills and taught our children to shovel snow and mow lawns and serve others with these abilities. I've watched him read scriptures to the children, testify of God and worship side by side. I know fathers are indispensable! I make a call for dads! We need you! Your engaged and unselfish influence, your lead, your integrity and example of keeping your word, makes all the difference. And your example spills over into every family who watches you. Your strength strengthens others. Your protection protects others. 

When among a father's greatest concerns are his family, there is a feeling of deep respect and connection, just like the audible "ahhh" in the room at the UN. Engaged, loving and respectful relationships benefit not only the daughters and mothers, but women, men, boys and ultimately the family. The preservation of this most basic institution is core to a healthier, happier world. 

• https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865681865/What-research-says-about-dad-and-how-one-BYU-researcher-dad-tries-to-live-up-to-it.html
• http://byuiscroll.org/why-daughters-need-present-fathers/
• Free download of Family Capital and the SDG's http://www.familycapital17sdgs.org/sdg-book-complete/

From "Me, Me, Me," to Saving the Planet

"Me! Me! Me!" cried one of my younger children one day, "I just want to shout me!"  I chuckled. It was a wonderful reminder of personal celebration, and the universal need for validation. At the same time, we are all painfully aware that this refrain is caustic if it is a constant worldview in an older child or adult. Becoming a person of substance and healing means looking outside ourselves and outward as we observe and meet others' needs. 

I marveled at a recent youth service event, as the young men and young women joyfully and willingly helped others in their neighborhood by weeding, planting, and beautifying yards. I watched as they cheerfully reached out to others with brownies and smiles. The energy they brought back after working was almost tangible.  One youth said to me, "Hey if you need help with your yard, I can help you," and another youth you overheard him, piped up, "I can help too!"  I realized they wanted more. More opportunity. More of that feeling. I wish I could express how beautiful this simple exchange was to me. 

The peaceful and joyful simplicity returned earlier this week, as I came in the door and stood in my kitchen. "I love this," I said out loud, "Where is this coming from?" One child was cooking dinner on the stove and another child was chopping meat for the pot. They prepared a gluten-free version for me on the side that I could take with me as I was headed out the door shortly. Again, I felt this joy in the simplicity of simple giving in a family - that of feeding each other and taking care of each other.

I'm reminded that small and simple acts and words make all the difference and can be done so easily. A smile, a kind word, a willing hand, encouragement, sharing and praise are so simple to give and literally change the planet a kindness at a time.

Looking outward is a critical skill in a self-absorbed culture. If the world will not drown in its self-reflection in the narcissistic, and stagnant pool, it will be because the rising generation earnestly seeks to make the world a better place. And my observation after watching them is there is great hope for the planet. 

"She Had Compassion"

I recently fell in love with a painting and we (the painting and I) had a long conversation.  It is titled "She Had Compassion." by Elspeth Young.
https://www.alyoung.com/art/work-daughter_of_pharaoh.html
The painting was of Pharaoh's daughter pulling Moses out of the river. One could observe the tender hands and loving desire to save this baby from the death decree of a fearful Pharaoh that male babies must be thrown in the river. The record states the princess saves the infant and later raises him in the Egyptian palace. She could not have known that day the life she saved would one day lead his people out of Egyptian bondage, save the entire Israelite nation, and be revered as a prophet for four thousand years.  

As I pondered the sequence of events that led to lifting this baby out of the river of death, I find four very different women who were key players in saving the Moses that saved a nation.

The first in this quartet is Shiprah. I deeply admire that she defied the destructive instructions from Pharaoh to kill the Hebrew male babies born while serving as midwife. The record states that the Lord dealt well with her and Puah who likewise refused to kill the male babies.

The second is Jochabed, the mother of Moses who carefully hid the infant and then set him out in the ark basket that without intervention would have become his casket. She protected that life, most likely at risk of her own life, with faith in God.

Miriam, sister to Moses, is the third in this narrative, who watches and protects the basket as it comes to the fourth woman in this life giving, life protecting quartet, Pharaoh's daughter. The record states, "she had compassion" and lifted him from the river.

I identify with these four women.  I love that each are so different, yet acted on the deepest feelings and gifts within to give and protect life. The choice of motherhood presented to Pharaoh's daughter resonates deeply with me. My family is my choice. It has not failed me in any way to bring continual joy, personal growth and increased capacity in a difficult and profoundly rewarding path. Motherhood gives me the gifts of deep meaning and satisfaction. Nurturing life has been brought education and knowledge about divine and earthly priorities. Both the slave and the princess chose the gifts of female biology and divine nature. There are Shiprahs and Miriams today as well, women who give strength and support to each other in the most influential calling and career.

The image of lifting from the river has repeatedly been impressed on my mind for days.  From a murky, treacherous river of lies, doubt and destruction mothers today courageously, and fearlessly live, defend and testify of the truth that mothers are the stabilizing force of society and change lives every day. I applaud mothers who act on the understanding that babies are the greatest force for good in the world. I cheer mothers who seek to nurture their children to achieve their highest potential. I revere mothers who defy the current culture of self-serving lies that demean motherhood and choose to act on the deepest feelings of their soul to give and protect life. While these four women may not have exactly known the identity of this baby, they each acted on their understanding of their divine identity. The painting "She Had Compassion" continues to teach me of eternal identity, the gift of compassion, and inspires me to lift from the river again and again and again.

Listen and Learn

You have probably heard the story of the frustrated mother who told her little boy in exasperation, "I've told you not to go past the corner," and he innocently replies, "Mom what's a corner?" We 've all done it.  I've reprimanded a child only to find out they had already done their chores or were sick. We didn't listen or find out. We made assumptions or missed the bigger picture.

I sense there is a problem like that in our world. We think we understand it so well, perhaps thinking why don't people fall in line, only to find out, we made assumptions and missed something.

In this sureness, we find it easy to criticize, blame and label. Sound familiar? So easy to do in our homes, on social media and in the marketplace. In our frustration, we are eager to march in a march, join a cause, or shout a loud refrain. Surely banding together with like minded people will solve problems or so we think.

What is missing? I'm struck by an answer given by David Brooks: 

"I’m beginning to think the whole depressing spectacle of this moment — the Trump presidency and beyond — is caused by a breakdown of intellectual virtue, a breakdown in America’s ability to face evidence objectively, to pay due respect to reality, to deal with complex and unpleasant truths. The intellectual virtues may seem elitist, but once a country tolerates dishonesty, incuriosity and intellectual laziness, then everything else falls apart."                 David Brooks, "Find a Way to Roll Back Fanaticism," New York Times, Aug 15, 2017 

At least part of the answer seems to be we need to learn, seek answers, and find out more information. This takes work, time and effort. Without this honest and curious capacity to learn, things fall apart. Applying introspective honesty, we may find part of the problem lies within ourselves. This takes courage to pursue. How can we approach the complex and difficult issues with a wider lens? In the wake of "Walk Out," and "Women's March," and with the understanding that I believe most of us want to reduce violence and give equality to women, I suggest the following: 

• Make the intellectual effort to understand the cause, its founders, its purpose and its founding principles and documents.  
• Listen to what both sides have to say and why they feel the way they do.
• Research who wants this cause/event/march/philosophy.
• What will be the result for individual people and their freedom?
• What will be the result for groups of people and nations?
• Who will benefit from this cause/event/philosophy?
• What has happened historically with this concept/event/cause?
• Will the means achieve the ends? Are there other paths to that end?
• What effect will this have on children?

To put things back together, we simply must look past the tiny lens of our own experience and listen and learn. Not too long ago I sat in a committee room at the state capitol on a very divisive issue. After asking a young man nearby, why he was for the bill in question, I realized that there were many ways to look at the issue, and people see solutions in a variety of ways. We would do well to listen more, learn more, and ask critical questions. Only then may we realize that we all have pieces of the solution.

I Live in Abundance of Time

I grabbed crackers, cheese, water and make-up again on my way to the car. Not enough time again! Why do I do this? Again! I don’t have enough time. Again! The phrase "I don't have enough time," has crept subtly in my mind and wreaked havoc.

Why is there never enough time? While it is a given that days and events begin and end, and specific times and places are not ongoing and unending, it is also clear that I have created a scarcity mentality! Accomplishments, souls and relationships do not thrive in a scarcity mindset. Mirror mirror on the wall, I am my own brick wall after all! 

I admire my brother who always has time for me. He has more responsibility than almost anyone I know yet treats me like he has all the time in the world. I have marveled at this, because I often fail to make time to listen while plagued with the "I don't have enough time" syndrome.

I have marveled at my dads now famous Saturday statement: "Boy we got a lot done today!" Thinking somehow he and my brother cut a deal in heaven's time wheel, I now realize it is a product of priority and abundance mentality. This is the understanding that there are enough resources and success for all to spare and to share.

Enter new hourly phrase: I live in abundance of time, order, and joy. What is amazing to me is change comes from the simple declaration! Like the decree for light, it seems that declaring time now means there is time. Immediately I noticed I got more done, and felt more content while being able to let go of what I didn’t get done. Last night armed with my new phrase, I did not go straight to my teenage daughter with "Did you this?" and "Did you that?" - the conversation that annihilates joy. Instead I asked a question about her favorite music. And I listened. And another question. And validation. Joy! Because...  I live in abundance of time, order, and joy.  

My new recommendation list for keeping the abundance mindset: Be grateful, find joy in simplicity, look for the good, avoid judging, cheer others on, see opportunity, listen and declare often, I live in abundance of time, order and joy.

 For the earth is full, and there is enough and to spare; 

Doctrine and Covenants 104:17

My Tractor Pin

I now wear a tractor pin. My Dad passed away this month and a family member bought tractor pins for his posterity. My Dad loved tractors, and the soil that it tilled and the garden that came from the soil. He loved even more having a child or grandchild by his side on the tractor and in the projects. The tractor is symbolic of his magnificent efforts to encourage the rising generation to have character, a work ethic and skills. 

The pin reminds of his generosity. He put up hundreds of bottles of peaches, beets, beans, applesauce, and tomatoes every year. He gave away wheelbarrow loads of melons and bushels of tomatoes. He gave to the neighbors, family, widows and refugees. He helped my family till our soil, plant our corn and put up tomatoes. With 10 canners going we could put up over 200 quarts of tomatoes in a day!

The pin reminds me to work hard and take responsibility.He would get up often before 6:00 am, head out to the garden, then to the office, then back in the evening to the garden. On Saturday he would work by the side of children or grandchildren teaching them landscaping, mowing lawns, planting and fixing sprinkler pipes. He would work through till 9 or 10 at night and say "Boy we got a lot done!" And he was so HAPPY! He loved every minute. The next day he would call and tell me what great workers my children are.


The pin reminds me of his continual learning.  He loved the New Testament and had 600 scriptures memorized. On his bedstand was Paul's Life and Letters, the scriptures, Consumer Reports and The Blueprint of Christ's Church. 

My dad understood that people who work side by side, in the soil, grow food, and share generously, develop character, and solve their problems. He could see the generational power of transferring values by loving and working with the rising generation. It wasn't about food, it was about empowering and changing the lives of those he loved.

Here is my poem about the pin:

My Dad smiled all the day; 

HIs heavy work was clearly play. 

He got up early before the dawn,

Tilled the field and mowed the lawn. 

Often with a child at side, 

Then on the tractor for a ride.

He gave freely with a smile,

And worked long past the extra mile. 

He memorized large amounts of scripture. 

And was a counselor, friend and teacher. 

He didn't criticize or complain,

Nor make excuses or find blame. 

So it becomes a little harder to sin 

When I wear my tractor pin.