"What!" "Why do I have to do chores?" "Really?" "I have sooooo much homework!" "I don't have time!" "I'll do them later."
I'd like to share a few random thoughts on the value of chores.
To my children.
Yes.
Really.
Hear me out.
I am a believer.
Why we do chores, projects, assignments, etc. and why we expect you to be respectful, prompt and non complaining about doing them is connected to the following stunning discoveries: (These assigned duties will be hereinafter referred to as CAPs which stands for chores, assignments and projects).
Why we do chores, projects, assignments, etc. and why we expect you to be respectful, prompt and non complaining about doing them is connected to the following stunning discoveries: (These assigned duties will be hereinafter referred to as CAPs which stands for chores, assignments and projects).
1. CAPs help you take responsibility. This matters. A great deal. Those who are given assignments, and learn to act and not make excuses are trusted with more assignments of increasing merit and responsibility. This increases talent and capacity to act. If you are in the habit of making excuses or shifting blame, you will not be trusted with much of anything. Other people will be irritated with you. Do not tell me you do not have time to complete the floor if you just spent 20 minutes playing computer games. The credibility factor is way low.
2. CAPs give an appropriate sense of healthy control over your life. You are in charge of making this happen! So do it. Those who do not accept chores, responsibilities and assignments are more likely to tell others what to do, refuse to help them and may emerge a "control freak." Brothers, sisters, spouses and friends do not look kindly on this trait. You will not be on their grateful list! Without appropriate receiving of delegated assignments, some feel like everything and nothing is their responsibility.
3. CAPs help you see another person's point of view. First, you generally are given an assignment by someone that sees more of the whole picture. Like me; who wants the home clean. You may not see how your kitchen floor scrubbing fits into the grand scheme, but I do. Secondly, some CAPs require mutual cooperation to achieve or finish. You may
have different points of view on how to do a chore. Listening to each
other may produce more effective solutions and results. So with your roommate, with your companion and in marriage.... listen carefully: You will need each others point of view to accomplish CAPs. You will each see things the other does not.
4. CAPs teach compassion. You will realize that others are doing things to help you. You will see that your CAPs help others. When you see each others strengths and vulnerabilities, and the capacity to lift burdens you want to help. You begin to see how we need each other. Case in point: The party is beginning in 20 minutes. I've seen you all race around the home, cleaning, preparing food and putting things away. You care about each other and the imminent party. Family members have compassion on the person who faces possible disaster. The 20 minute before the party hidden camera movie is hilarious.
5. CAPs teach respect. You can see how others assignments or suggestions can be helpful to you. They do something you could not do. You appreciate their talents and see others as equals. You want and value their input. So when someone tells you not to mop the floor with rags tied to your feet, please consider that carefully. Not that it would come up.
6. CAPs teach gratitude. You begin to appreciate others contributions. You may begin to appreciate all who work together with you if their desires are to accomplish the work and ego or pride are not at the center. I always have a happy moment when one of you say to me, "Thanks, mom for dinner." Or "Thanks for picking me up." And I am so grateful to you for sweeping, clearing, cleaning, wiping, vacuuming, dusting, washing, scrubbing, and any other measure that makes home a cleaner, happier place.
CAPs help you learn to work together. I will say this again. CAPs help you learn to work together. Most of life's great work will involve other people. You will never have as much insight, power, and might alone that you could have with other committed people to a united purpose.
The work before us is not the problem. It is the answer. Kathleen Bahr and Cheri Loveless from BYU teach, "And Adam was told, "Cursed shall be the ground for thy sake" (vs. 23, emphasis added). In other words, the hard work of eating one's bread "by the sweat of thy face" (vs. 25) was meant to be a blessing. (http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=151 0)
And a blessing it is. I know and feel the power behind family members committed to action. Again, Kathleen Bahr and Cheri Loveless said it well: "Here lies the real power of family work--its potential to transform lives, to forge strong families, to build strong communities. It is the power to quietly, effectively urge hearts and minds toward a oneness known only in Zion." (http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=151 0)
I love that. That is what I want. The chores, assignments and projects teach responsibility, agency, perspective, compassion, respect and gratitude. And most importantly steadily lead us towards Zion.
The work before us is not the problem. It is the answer. Kathleen Bahr and Cheri Loveless from BYU teach, "And Adam was told, "Cursed shall be the ground for thy sake" (vs. 23, emphasis added). In other words, the hard work of eating one's bread "by the sweat of thy face" (vs. 25) was meant to be a blessing. (http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=151 0)
And a blessing it is. I know and feel the power behind family members committed to action. Again, Kathleen Bahr and Cheri Loveless said it well: "Here lies the real power of family work--its potential to transform lives, to forge strong families, to build strong communities. It is the power to quietly, effectively urge hearts and minds toward a oneness known only in Zion." (http://magazine.byu.edu/?act=view&a=151 0)
I love that. That is what I want. The chores, assignments and projects teach responsibility, agency, perspective, compassion, respect and gratitude. And most importantly steadily lead us towards Zion.
