Harmony -that blessed state of different notes that are in agreement or pleasing. This was the name of a recent high school multi-choir spring performance. Of course they sang in beautiful harmony, but the evening held something of far greater value. The three part program was created around the following three themes: We are More the Same than Different, The Price of Discord and Reaching toward Harmonious Unity; themes that echo the current culture wars of our nation. Embedded in the words, the program structure and the beautiful energy and vibrance of teenagers was the message, we can find unity-our unity is more important than our differences.
If we want the national tide to turn to harmony, we must acknowledge, believe and value diversity as well as recognize our common humanity. Then our homes can be safe places to express ourselves, learn, and grow.
With a large family, there are no shortages of differences of opinion. We all know really well, how to share an opposing view. Often, however, my children, lead out in the vital skill of resolving conflict by respectful listening. One son has repeatedly said as differences come up, "When can we talk about his mom?" And as we talk, he will repeat, "So this is what I hear you saying..." and "That is interesting. I'll think about that." He models open communication, validation even though he may disagree. He sticks to listening and really hearing far better than I do. We are learning to hold the tenuous value that we can have different opinions and get along. And the even better magical place where both our opinions morph as we seek for understanding. How valuable are young people, children and adults everywhere who understand the principle of listening, really listening to understand. Those who work hard to stay in meaningful and respectful dialogue, rather than shout phrases, and accusations that inhibit progress. Our home, communities, nations and world will be so much better as we kindly demonstrate these capacities. How stunning when a disagreement or difference of opinion does not end in discord but rather a gathering point for understanding.
William James, the great Harvard psychologist said, "Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude."
That is what I saw in the high school choir. An effort to deepen understanding and not damage it. And they knew it! The youth that sang these songs knew that they had a meaningful message for their audience. Thank you to wonderful youth who sang that night and thousands like you who work for a more peaceful world. Bless you for inspiring your audience to focus on similarities, respect and value differences, and seek for harmonious understanding.
