This blog is to share my thoughts on Home as a Holy Place. Twenty-five years of marriage and children have brought many adventures that teach me daily home can be sacred ground. Wherever we seek Christ and whenever He reaches into our lives the holiness begins.

Fathers - We Need You!

An audible "ahhh" of delight and respect came from the international attendees in the room. The speaker at a CSW 61 United Nations session had just shown a picture of his family on the screen.  In the midst of two weeks of discussion about women's rights, women's challenges, women's needs, refugee camps, abuse, trafficking, with almost no discussion of men or fathers, the family picture brought an immediate connection to the hearts of those in the room. Family. Fathers. How can fathers contribute to lasting solutions to strengthen women and families?

 Countering the current cultural attitude that fathers are irrelevant for mothers and girls, Timothy Rarick shared research on the emotional, academic, social and mental benefits that girls gain from being raised by engaged fathers. He shared, "Saying men are expendable hurts women. Girls need their fathers." Research shows: "Daughters with absent fathers are twice as likely to live in poverty, commit crime or dropout of high school.  (National Fatherhood Initiative.) Absent fathers, as defined by Rarick, can be either physically absent or emotionally detached. Rarick said in such cases, daughters are seven times more likely to have a teen pregnancy, exhibit behavioral problems and face abuse.

 More research shows the type of activities that fathers engage in is different than that of mothers and has distinct benefits for the children. For instance they way they share pretend stories, roughhouse and engage in physical activities such as sports and chores, improves academic and social skills traceable to the unique contribution of an engaged dad.
Photo by Jude Beck on Unsplash

And that is what I've seen. I remember my Dad, reading and telling me stories, throwing us in the warm springs at Granite Creek, and teaching me how to plant flowers and vegetables. He gave me assignments and followed up on them. His interactions were different than my mom's although their overall goals were the same. I'm grateful for his phone calls, concern and wisdom during my mothering years. I reflect on these influences more tenderly, since his passing and recognize their valuable influence in my life. 

 Perhaps a recent interchange from my Dad before he died, reflects his integrity and wisdom. In sharing with my dad my desire of pursuing a course that I felt would teach my children and my frustration at receiving unending resistance prompted him to say, "I struggle with the same thing. You gotta live with yourself. Do what you know is right."

 I've watched my husband read stories, join the joyful roughhousing that follows coming home from work and his efforts to encourage and coach soccer. I've watched him teach garden skills, music skills and taught our children to shovel snow and mow lawns and serve others with these abilities. I've watched him read scriptures to the children, testify of God and worship side by side. I know fathers are indispensable! I make a call for dads! We need you! Your engaged and unselfish influence, your lead, your integrity and example of keeping your word, makes all the difference. And your example spills over into every family who watches you. Your strength strengthens others. Your protection protects others. 

 When among a father's greatest concerns are his family, there is a feeling of deep respect and connection, just like the audible "ahhh" in the room at the UN. Engaged, loving and respectful relationships benefit not only the daughters and mothers, but women, men, boys and ultimately the family. The preservation of this most basic institution is core to a healthier, happier world. 





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