Radar

My cousin Ray has a license plate with Radar on it. One definition of radar is an indicator of something that comes to the attention of a person or group. Sadly, Ray passed away this month and his children shared what Ray did that had lasting meaning to them. I realized that I wanted these beautiful things on my radar - meaning bring them to attention in my life.  Funerals are powerful gatherings in which great treasures of life may be revealed. Seeing these beautiful children and their spouses together with their children, reflecting on the interactions I've had with my cousin and noticing the many people he loved and served, caused me to weep in acknowledgement of a life well lived.

Here I share from his children and grandchildren what to put on the radar:

• Do things with people and for people. Ray had enthusiasm and actively sought to make a person's day better. He genuinely cared, spent time giving to people and being with people, particularly golf.
• Show up!  He came to the children and grandchildren events. He was there and cheering. They knew he wanted to be there for them.
• Love your spouse. One daughter shared how he loved her mom. He said, "You have the most beautiful mother." He absolutely adored his wife. The powerful marriage these two had radiated throughout all their families. 
• Help your spouse. One son explained how his dad helped him mom with a cross stitch piece at his sports game. At the time he was a little irritated, but now he is grateful for that example. 
• Have a hallmark food. One grandchild loved the awesome pancakes they could always count on that Ray made. 

Perhaps the most powerful attribute that came on my radar that day was the loving marriage Ray and his wife had. We saw a world that day that did not devalue marriage, as so often the world does, but instead testified boldly that marriage is joyous, magnificent and fulfilling. 

Thank you Ray for the life you lived and thank you for your children and grandchildren who shared with us things to put on our radar. A life well lived, is magnified a thousand times through the lives of family, neighbors and others.

The purpose of life is not to be happy.

It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate,

to have it make some difference

that you have lived and lived well.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson