Matthew 5
38 ¶Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and
a tooth for a tooth:
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloak also.
41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.
One son offered to lead the clean up after dinner. (He will remain nameless for this story. We are trying to protect the guilty.) I think he may have wanted to avoid a forthcoming disaster based on last night’s cleanup where another child (who also will remain nameless) had been in charge and been rather coercive according to some perceptions. Strong independent children resist being told what to do and often forget that we theoretically, generally, historically, realistically are on the same page and want the same things.
So what happened? Argument. Anger. Resistance. Indignation. Squeals. Crying. And surprisingly, a fairly clean kitchen. This was one of the goals. Then the root beer floats. The child in charge was told to dish up according to their performance. Disaster ahead. (Just warning you.) Wanting NOT to coerce but help each sibling realize how stubborn, resistant, unhelpful and rude they had been, he began to ask them questions about how they would evaluate their stunning performance in doing dishes.
Perceptions varied. Some felt that because they helped, they were unequivocally heroes and deserve praise and lots of ice cream. However, the son in charged decided that attitude was the qualifying attribute and they would get a limited amount of root beer float...Can you see the problem? One child after receiving only a minimal 2.25 inches of sugary goodness in the glass, said, “I’m going to lead cleanup tomorrow night and dish up theirs! And they won’t get any! I’m going to cry myself to sleep for two hours! I’m not going to forgive for a week!” (She really said that. Those were her words.)
Anger. Crying. Indignation. Unfairness!
Then half an hour later that child came to me and said, “Mom, please read to me.” Well, we have been reading The Kingdom and the Crown by Gerald Lund. We just happened to be at the point where the family listens to Jesus teach his sermon on how to treat others. He tells them: “love your enemies, do good to them that hate you...resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.” I read and read and read. The parallels were obvious. The injustices that the Jews dealt with at the hand of the Romans were terrible. To teach forgiveness would have caused no small stir among the people. It required, higher thinking, higher standards and softer hearts.
Thirty minutes later, this child’s crying stopped, she came out from under the bed covers and looked at peace. I marveled that this particular place in the book was where we picked up our reading last night. I marveled at the power of Christ's teachings to soften the heart of my child. And mine.
