Listen and Learn

You have probably heard the story of the frustrated mother who told her little boy in exasperation, "I've told you not to go past the corner," and he innocently replies, "Mom what's a corner?" We 've all done it.  I've reprimanded a child only to find out they had already done their chores or were sick. We didn't listen or find out. We made assumptions or missed the bigger picture.

I sense there is a problem like that in our world. We think we understand it so well, perhaps thinking why don't people fall in line, only to find out, we made assumptions and missed something.

In this sureness, we find it easy to criticize, blame and label. Sound familiar? So easy to do in our homes, on social media and in the marketplace. In our frustration, we are eager to march in a march, join a cause, or shout a loud refrain. Surely banding together with like minded people will solve problems or so we think.

What is missing? I'm struck by an answer given by David Brooks: 

"I’m beginning to think the whole depressing spectacle of this moment — the Trump presidency and beyond — is caused by a breakdown of intellectual virtue, a breakdown in America’s ability to face evidence objectively, to pay due respect to reality, to deal with complex and unpleasant truths. The intellectual virtues may seem elitist, but once a country tolerates dishonesty, incuriosity and intellectual laziness, then everything else falls apart."                 David Brooks, "Find a Way to Roll Back Fanaticism," New York Times, Aug 15, 2017 

At least part of the answer seems to be we need to learn, seek answers, and find out more information. This takes work, time and effort. Without this honest and curious capacity to learn, things fall apart. Applying introspective honesty, we may find part of the problem lies within ourselves. This takes courage to pursue. How can we approach the complex and difficult issues with a wider lens? In the wake of "Walk Out," and "Women's March," and with the understanding that I believe most of us want to reduce violence and give equality to women, I suggest the following: 

• Make the intellectual effort to understand the cause, its founders, its purpose and its founding principles and documents.  
• Listen to what both sides have to say and why they feel the way they do.
• Research who wants this cause/event/march/philosophy.
• What will be the result for individual people and their freedom?
• What will be the result for groups of people and nations?
• Who will benefit from this cause/event/philosophy?
• What has happened historically with this concept/event/cause?
• Will the means achieve the ends? Are there other paths to that end?
• What effect will this have on children?

To put things back together, we simply must look past the tiny lens of our own experience and listen and learn. Not too long ago I sat in a committee room at the state capitol on a very divisive issue. After asking a young man nearby, why he was for the bill in question, I realized that there were many ways to look at the issue, and people see solutions in a variety of ways. We would do well to listen more, learn more, and ask critical questions. Only then may we realize that we all have pieces of the solution.