Ahhh...the end of the year, a time for self-reflection and self-assessment. The joy and brutality of reality! And the great news is: Yes! I can change! The very fact that we can identify where we want to improve is evidence that we can. Name it and claim it! Or name it and forsake it.
Who are you? And what do you love? What are your strengths? Skills? Fears? Weaknesses? What do you want to be known for? What do you want to overcome? What scares you the most? What gives you peace? What do you have to contribute to others? Who do you want to please? What will you be glad you did? What will you wish you had done? What holds you back? What motivates you? What do you feel is your life mission? Do you know the answers to those for you as well as the ones you love?
Recently I asked myself some hard questions and wrote down my responses. I was looking for more joy and chose to change some simple routines. One was to be at the crossroads with snacks and a listening ear when the children come home from school. Another was to make space dailyfor something I love to do. Results often come from small consistent changes. Results also come from compassionate listeners who reflect our thoughts and feelings when we get stuck or have difficulty clarifying or recognizing where the obstacles are.
The day I came home from my little self-assessment, my son met me in the kitchen and said, "Mom do you want to talk about last night's argument about how to clean up?" I agreed and He said, “You are fearful about meals.” I agreed and he asked, "Why?" With paper and pencil we went through the reasons why and it was an interesting exercise. I had all kinds of negative emotions wrapped up in everything to do with food and it was helpful to identify them. One was that there wasn’t enough time for me to fix food and get my stuff done. Another one was the children won’t turn out right unless they help with home and meals. I listed more reasons on paper. For two hours he listened to me. He helped me examine my thoughts and face them. The day before he had asked himself, "What is the one thing I could do to help my mom?" His conclusion was to help me walk through my emotional barriers related to food. By the time we were done we had spent about 4 1/2 hours in discussion. We spent half a day to solve this problem! We talked about ownership and strategies, and he walked me out to the freezer where I started to implement some solutions. What a gift of understanding to help me move forward.
The process was a win-win because I was empowered to face a fear and he would get better food! When we help others reach their goals, often we find ourselves reaching our own. Success is often on the other side of helping someone else. Careful listening and understanding can provide entrance to another's heart and insight into our own journey. After this experience I find myself more aware of barriers each of us face and the part I could play in helping others remove blocks and barriers to their goals. So often we find identity and personal power to move forward as others listen carefully to us and express faith in us - a simple but powerful hinge on which progress moves.
Who are you? And what do you love? What are your strengths? Skills? Fears? Weaknesses? What do you want to be known for? What do you want to overcome? What scares you the most? What gives you peace? What do you have to contribute to others? Who do you want to please? What will you be glad you did? What will you wish you had done? What holds you back? What motivates you? What do you feel is your life mission? Do you know the answers to those for you as well as the ones you love?
Recently I asked myself some hard questions and wrote down my responses. I was looking for more joy and chose to change some simple routines. One was to be at the crossroads with snacks and a listening ear when the children come home from school. Another was to make space dailyfor something I love to do. Results often come from small consistent changes. Results also come from compassionate listeners who reflect our thoughts and feelings when we get stuck or have difficulty clarifying or recognizing where the obstacles are.
The day I came home from my little self-assessment, my son met me in the kitchen and said, "Mom do you want to talk about last night's argument about how to clean up?" I agreed and He said, “You are fearful about meals.” I agreed and he asked, "Why?" With paper and pencil we went through the reasons why and it was an interesting exercise. I had all kinds of negative emotions wrapped up in everything to do with food and it was helpful to identify them. One was that there wasn’t enough time for me to fix food and get my stuff done. Another one was the children won’t turn out right unless they help with home and meals. I listed more reasons on paper. For two hours he listened to me. He helped me examine my thoughts and face them. The day before he had asked himself, "What is the one thing I could do to help my mom?" His conclusion was to help me walk through my emotional barriers related to food. By the time we were done we had spent about 4 1/2 hours in discussion. We spent half a day to solve this problem! We talked about ownership and strategies, and he walked me out to the freezer where I started to implement some solutions. What a gift of understanding to help me move forward.
The process was a win-win because I was empowered to face a fear and he would get better food! When we help others reach their goals, often we find ourselves reaching our own. Success is often on the other side of helping someone else. Careful listening and understanding can provide entrance to another's heart and insight into our own journey. After this experience I find myself more aware of barriers each of us face and the part I could play in helping others remove blocks and barriers to their goals. So often we find identity and personal power to move forward as others listen carefully to us and express faith in us - a simple but powerful hinge on which progress moves.
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