Why I Leave the Butter Out

I've caught myself leaving a trail.  When I do crafting, I often leave paper scraps. When I sew, I may leave threads on the carpet. I spread butter on my muffin and leave the butter on the counter. Do you do that? Or know someone who does that? I'm sure there could be some very accurate psychological analysis that would reveal some character flaws that need some remedying. Perhaps just laziness. However, I think there is a another more subtle reason.  It is this: I want to be noticed. I was there. I made something, I created, I ate.  If I completely clean up, and every trace of me is gone, who will know I was there? Is this symbolic of a greater desire to not be forgotten when I leave mortality?

Inside of each of us, I believe, is the longing to leave meaning - to leave something of worth behind. This is the reason perhaps behind, wanting to give money to charity, be rich, be famous, write a book, be a you tuber, journal, scrapbook, teach, help others and any other thing intended to go past our boundaries and somehow influence the world.  I asked my four year old son years ago, "What are you going to do today?"  He answered, "Search for gold and silver or something!"   

What will you search for today? What will be different because you lived? What trail will you make? While money and fame for some, for others it may have been teaching the values or truths they have learned. I am deeply grateful for those who have given their lives for this kind of legacy.  Those that lived and died for freedom, and those that taught me skills, principles or truths that have enriched my life through their example, classes, books and online media. There is a freedom trail of ideas left by Locke, Blackstone, Washington, Adams, Jefferson and others that have shaped the ideas of government by the people. These ideas have given me the most free country on earth to live in. There is a glorious trail left by writers, creators and thinkers of faith and courage like C.S. Lewis, Mother Teresa, Harriet Tubman, G.K. Chesterton, and Bonhoeffer. 

There is another kind of trail, a trail I inherited and hope to leave with my children. It is the trail that is passed through the torch of love of faith and family.  It embodies the values of deep respect for God and parenthood. Both my mother and father exemplified faith in a higher power, in God. They shared many examples in their lives of His watchful care over them and prayed faithfully for His guidance. I was given a love of motherhood, and family through my sweet, amazing and courageous mother.  I was the witness to the incredible and irreplaceable influence of fathers as I watched by Dad teach the values dearest to his heart - integrity, faith and hard work. Tethered at birth to my mom,  and mentored by both my mother and my father, I watched them give the best of their lives to raising their children with integrity, humility, and joy. That is the trail I want to leave - a trail of faith and family that my children feel so deep in the marrow of their bones that they seek with all their hearts to carry the torch of faith and family. My prayer is that their torch will born so bright that their children will pick up the fire of faith and family and carry on. 

The generations before me passed this torch from parent to child and I pass it on as one of the most meaningful ways I feel I could say I was here. I lived. I gave. There is meaning. My life didn't disappear. And perhaps that is why I leave out the butter.