Life is Sacred

My mind is on babies and my belief that life is sacred. This post is to share my heart and views on one of the most divisive and controversial issues in America. This post is neither comprehensive nor thorough, but observational, personal and heartfelt.

Recently I watched "Unplanned," a movie telling the true story of Abby Johnson who resigned from her position as clinic director from Planned Parenthood after witnessing an abortion. The movie exceeded box office predictions grossing 21 million worldwide. It is the moving story of Abby who regretted her own two abortions and her participation in killing thousands of babies at the Planned Parenthood Clinic. She joins the pro life movement and exposes the purpose of financial gain from killing the unborn. The images were graphic and the story compelling.  The after story is Abby Johnson creates "And Then There Were None" (ATTWN), a registered nonprofit organization that exists to help abortion clinic workers leave the abortion industry. Hundreds have left the industry since the movie came out in 2019.

Last week, I attended our state capitol pro life rally. Dusty Johns, the keynote speaker, shared her heart wrenching story of family abuse and her decision to abort her child conceived in an abusive relationship. Her boyfriend and mother encouraged her to have the abortion. She described the abortion as painful, compassionless and humiliating. She tells others her story in the hope of preventing other mothers from going through the same experience.

My son and my daughter attended the rally as well. They share my view that life is sacred. I asked my daughter what her takeaway was and she answered "the ripple effect." The ripple effect describes what abortion leads to in society. One common argument for abortion is, "its my life, my business." But the ripple effect says, what we do individually, and privately adds to the public attitudes and practices, making it public business. The ripple effect says this is moving outward and reaches other shores. We discussed three ripples effects from abortion:

First. When abortion is legal, condoned and encouraged, it sends the public message, it is okay to kill babies. It leads to marginalization and bigotry. If the size is small enough, the cell count low enough, the sound only a heartbeat, you don't have rights. The easier to obtain abortion, more more accepted it is, the more this idea of privileged and unprivileged groups is perpetuated. It devalues all our lives, if the youngest among us are not valued. 


Second. It perpetuates a public culture of irresponsibility. While a common argument is that women have more freedom with abortion and the "right to control their bodies," the truth is, it actually promotes irresponsible sex and a hook up culture because the consequence of having a baby is eliminated by abortion. The net effect is women pay the price for irresponsible men with uncommitted relationships. If a baby is aborted the woman also pays the emotional and physical price as well. 


Third. It sends a public message that a boundary for convenience can be legislated. Many states have a 24 week ban on abortion. New York recently passed a law that abortion is legal until the day before delivery. Where does that lead? Is it possible then for convenience to make killing legal the day after delivery?  Two days after? Under age two? Older people? Over 92?  What else is inconvenient? 

What we send out, ripples out. I believe in women, men, families, children and babies.  The time spent with my children, and granddaughter is some of the most cherished and growing time of my life. I cherish these relationships. So much can be said of the joy, the simplicity, and the humility of a child. Children love life and we have much to learn from them. They are key to our freedom and happiness. 

I believe in the choice to protect life and the unborn. After hearing Abby Johnson and Dusty John, I also feel that pro-life is pro-woman. Clearly, both women and babies need support. My hope is that the solutions and creative options to help each individual woman and child can be brought to the table so that the bitter and divisive struggle between pro-life and pro-abortion isn't centered on angry accusations and demands but on the fact that life is sacred, and that there are many choices that can preserve the dignity of a woman and the life of the unborn child. I cheer every mother and father on, in their heartfelt efforts to nurture and protect life. The ripple effect from those nurturing, protecting attitudes would make this earth a safer place for all of us. 

________________

...Human rights are not a privilege conferred by government. 

They are every human being's entitlement by virtue of his humanity. The right to life does not depend, 

and must not be declared to be contingent, 

on the pleasure of anyone else, not even a parent or a sovereign." 

-Mother Teresa 

(full quote here: http://www.stjoanofarcchurch.org/Downloads/e8304718-37cb-4c45-81c8-4cb54ae8eb99.pdf)

The Infinite Onion

I took the counsel of Patrick Kearon and sought still moments this season. It is extremely challenging for me because I have been almost addicted to busyness. And I'm trying hard to stop. Think. Be still. Ponder. Repeat. When I expressed a new idea about Christ, my daughter responded with it is the "infinite onion."  While not a profoundly sacred and beautiful title, "infinite onion" is meaningful to me and describes my discovery journey to Christ. The layers of understanding just keep coming day by day and year by year, similar to an onion peeled layer by layer. 

The Christ I understood as a child was the Christ of example. This layer looked like: Be good like Jesus. Be kind like Jesus. We can strive to be like Him. The song "Jesus Once was a Little Child," has always been one of my favorites - the first verse of which is: 

1. — Jesus once was a little child, A little child like me;And he was pure and meek and mild, As a little child should be.So, little children, Let’s you and I Try to be like him, Try, try, try. 

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/music/text/childrens-songbook/jesus-once-was-a-little-child?lang=eng&_r=1

I loved reading Bible stories as a child. God's dealings with his children throughout history was relevant, insightful and inspiring. The life of Jesus provided a standard where I could look and focus. I felt the compassionate invitation to try, try, try.  

The next layer for me was understanding in a personal way that everyone will be resurrected because of Jesus Christ. My sister died when I was in high school. I thought that wasn't supposed to happen. Always praying for healing, that was where our hope was. I wondered what God's plan was and why she suffered so much before she died. While I don't know all things, I saw the loyalty and strength that trial brought to family members and I eventually felt the peace that God has a plan for each one of us and one day we will see my sister again. She said often, "God doesn't always come when we call, but He always comes on time."

Soon after that the layer for me was seeking the attributes of Jesus. In high school, college and during the dating years, my focus tended to be more on the qualities of Christ. Christ was both kind and direct. He is both just and merciful. He obeyed God the Father and picked corn on the sabbath. He had perfect compassion and divine wisdom. These layers taught me that his perfect character could discern how to apply truth and wisdom perfectly in every circumstance. He knew when to answer the scribes and pharisees and when to leave. He knew how to ask discerning questions and how to teach. He delivered rebukes and comfort. He could create and destroy. It all begins with humility, "Blessed are the poor in spirit..." Here I continued my clumsy climb.

During the years of child rearing, I tried to find answers in the word of God. I prayed. I tried to listen. I received many answers. I tried to follow them. Sometimes I failed and sometimes I succeeded. His love for my children was greater than my love for them. His desires for them were more visionary than my vision. His understanding of them is greater than my understanding. More layers of insight came teaching me God's parental love for the earthly parents of his children. And love for me as his growing child. I recall the scripture to  "...lay hold on every good thing." (Moroni 7:19) I felt God teaching me to focus on the what was working more than on what was not working. ...

Now, face to face with weaknesses, trials and challenges of the years, the layers show I need the strength and healing of Christ, more than anything I've needed in my entire life. No one anywhere, anyplace loves me more and wants to help me more, and is more capable of helping me than this one divine being.

More layers are teaching me:

• I need healing as the woman who reached out to the hem of Christ's garment.

• When I don't have enough of time, or energy or resources and am empty like the wedding jars belonging to Mary, I can ask for God's help.

• The well is Him, and fills. The things of this world can never satisfy like eternal truth.  As Dallin Oaks said: "You can never get enough of what you don't need, because what you don't need won't satisfy you." And the woman at the well said, “Sir, give me this water, that I may not thirst, nor come here to draw.”

• When I fail again and again, I seek His strength and his mercy. He is the God of both.

• Like the cleansing of the temple, I need to cleanse out pride and anger and whatever is keeping me from Him.

• When I don't know what matters, I seek His word. "And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things, But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:41-42)

• A handful of people around me, including family, neighbors and friends, who are constantly seeking to be like Christ, are the people I am drawn to and influence me most.

Perhaps throughout all the layers of the infinite onion, we hear Him say: "Come unto me." Christ says it over and over - it isn't conditional, and His strength comes into our lives the moment we begin. He wants us to try, try, try. 

Abundance at the Table

We just enjoyed a very non-traditional Thanksgiving. And it was delightful. One of my daughters proposed that each of us bring a dish from a country where we have lived and served. The menu included:

• Pinakbet from the Philippines
• Papa a la Huancaina from Peru
• Saucisses aux lentilles and far Breton from France
• Empanadas from Chile
• Mini sweet potato pizzas from Italy (That one used a little creative license.)
• Dumplings from Korea - courtesy of some family friends who are from Korea.

  

The delight was in the busy kitchen for two hours before the meal, each preparing a dish to share with each other. There was a little egg bartering, searching for missing ingredients and healthy competition about whose dish was going to be best. There are many things I absolutely adored about Thanksgiving afternoon at our home, but one I want to focus on is gratitude born of the abundance mindset. Everyone had something to share and no one was diminished by another's offering. No one had to tell another how to prepare and serve their dish. There was a spirit of gratitude and joy all afternoon. Each contribution was received, respected and enjoyed.

Without delving into deep academic, political or theological discussions, can I draw the simplest of analogies with our Thanksgiving table? The spirit of inclusion and diversity in our tiny orbit was instructive, I think, about the broader current culture. Is it possible to bring our diversity of belief to the table and find respect and gratitude?  May we appreciate each personal contribution as unique and valued? Can we make room for each other knowing that the many dishes contribute to the gratitude and joy that can be felt?

The abundance brings a richness to the table. Perhaps in its most simplistic form, scarcity says, if I succeed, you can’t, and if you succeed, I can’t. Abundance says, there is enough for everyone. Is it possible at the heart of the drive to tear down another's success or belief is that somehow there is a fixed amount of belief or resources making the pie and if you have it, I don’t? And when the pie is gone–its gone?

Abundance is also about gratitude. Gratitude inhabits that space of choice between scarcity and abundance. It acknowledges and appreciates what is brought to the table and bridges the gap without trying to criticize or homogenize the result. As I was pondering these thoughts, I smiled at a simple act of kindness that illustrated to me the collective abundance of giving and sharing. Thursday evening we devoured a small pumpkin pie with other desserts. On Friday evening, the doorbell rang and a dear neighbor brought a pie three times the size of the pumpkin pie we ate the day before. I smiled to myself - there is always enough pie to go around.

My Harvest Ritual

It was 11 degrees yesterday morning and a few hours before the cold temperature dip I picked nine more buckets of apples in a swirling snow. A few days before that, we gathered all the butternut to protect them from the frost and a few days before that we gathered the tomatoes. I love bringing in the harvest; squash, zucchini, peppers, tomatoes, rosemary, peppermint, sage and many more plants and fruits. My hands smell like rosemary, caramel apples sit on my counter and squash soup is waiting. The sight, smells and taste of the earth are joyful, warm and inviting. As a I participate in this harvesting ritual annually, I feel a sense of strength, purpose and identity.

Harvesting a garden brings a unique blend of independence, interdependence and dependence, giving me a sense of strength, in terms of the spectrum of self-reliance. Strong feelings of independence come from growing my own supply of food, and interdependence as I work with my family to till, plant, weed, fertilize and harvest. There is none so knowledgeable as a farmer of his dependence on heaven for the rain and sun; for intervention from wind and cold temperatures at critical times.

The purpose or properties of each plant bring joy, healing and delight. I love that sage tea can stop a cough, apples make natural sweeteners, and peppermint adds flavor to my smoothies. The children delight in growing pumpkins for autumn, cherries for dessert, and sugar snap peas for snacking. 

The deep sense of identity comes in part from working with the fruit of my womb to care for the fruit of the earth. For more than 25 years, I’ve worked our garden with my husband and children. Watching the miracle of seeds sprout, grow, and produce, mirrors the growth that each child makes as they grow. Both children and gardens take patience, nurturing and cultivation. Identifying with this natural process gives a sense of connection of our lives to plant life. 

The plants had a premortal genesis - a spiritual beginning before the physical beginning. In Genesis 2:5 it says: “And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew.” We also had a premortal place before coming to earth. As William Wordsworth penned; “Trailing clouds of glory do we come from God, who is our home.” The idea that both plants and people were created spiritually then again physically here tells me there is great order and purpose. Just as the fruit “bears fruit of its kind,” so God’s children are made in his image with all the characteristics and attributes in embryo of Him. As I gather the harvest, ponder and wonder, I feel a deep sense of reverence and gratitude for the feelings of strength, purpose, and identity that come to me and feed my soul again each year. 

Radar

My cousin Ray has a license plate with Radar on it. One definition of radar is an indicator of something that comes to the attention of a person or group. Sadly, Ray passed away this month and his children shared what Ray did that had lasting meaning to them. I realized that I wanted these beautiful things on my radar - meaning bring them to attention in my life.  Funerals are powerful gatherings in which great treasures of life may be revealed. Seeing these beautiful children and their spouses together with their children, reflecting on the interactions I've had with my cousin and noticing the many people he loved and served, caused me to weep in acknowledgement of a life well lived.

Here I share from his children and grandchildren what to put on the radar:

• Do things with people and for people. Ray had enthusiasm and actively sought to make a person's day better. He genuinely cared, spent time giving to people and being with people, particularly golf.
• Show up!  He came to the children and grandchildren events. He was there and cheering. They knew he wanted to be there for them.
• Love your spouse. One daughter shared how he loved her mom. He said, "You have the most beautiful mother." He absolutely adored his wife. The powerful marriage these two had radiated throughout all their families. 
• Help your spouse. One son explained how his dad helped him mom with a cross stitch piece at his sports game. At the time he was a little irritated, but now he is grateful for that example. 
• Have a hallmark food. One grandchild loved the awesome pancakes they could always count on that Ray made. 

Perhaps the most powerful attribute that came on my radar that day was the loving marriage Ray and his wife had. We saw a world that day that did not devalue marriage, as so often the world does, but instead testified boldly that marriage is joyous, magnificent and fulfilling. 

Thank you Ray for the life you lived and thank you for your children and grandchildren who shared with us things to put on our radar. A life well lived, is magnified a thousand times through the lives of family, neighbors and others.

The purpose of life is not to be happy.

It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate,

to have it make some difference

that you have lived and lived well.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Three Days with the UN

Together with people representing 138 nations, I spent three days observing and participating at the 68th UN Civil Society Conference, focused on creating inclusive and sustainable cities and communities held here in SLC. So many thoughts and experiences! From that I want to share three things; 1) how international community is a place of beautiful diversity and effective collaboration, 2) how international sharing can bring the light of research, learning and understanding and 3) how individuals and groups can share and innovate in ways that reflect their values and most important concerns in the communities most valuable resource - family.

First, I love the many cultures, kinship and commonalities that one feels in international spaces. The colorful clothing of India and Africa is beautiful. I felt a kinship with the two Canadians who shared the power of conscience with me and a beautiful children's story called "Be the Spark". A new friendship was formed as a woman from an interfaith organization and I collaborated on a service project we plan to do together. I look forward to contacting a woman from Kenya, and a woman who lived twenty minutes down the road from me in Alpine who is interested in Big Ocean Women. 

Secondly, I love informative and insightful workshops. One workshop focused on the research that shows that having a father in the home is the best indicator of child wellbeing on every measurable indicator. Another workshop focused on the power of maternal bonding in the wellbeing of children. We learned from a woman in Senegal about the need to protect women and children from harmful cultural practices. Other topics included climate change, LGBTQ, discussion tables, and much, much, much more. I love learning about challenges and solutions in an international arena. 

Finally, I learned about the power of we the people - what I witnessed about creating solutions with local resources. 

• Over five hundred thousand meal kits for children were put together by volunteers in our community - Latter-day Saint Charities partnering with Feeding Children Everywhere (FCE), JustServe, the United Nations, and American Airlines. There were more volunteers for the meal kits than there were attendees at the conference!  Service is a vital community resource.
• When asked how to finance projects, one panel expert said, "Give ten per cent of your raw food to finance the cause." That is doable for most people and comes directly from the people. This is a bright alternative solution to the more common idea that the money must come from business partnerships and is always outside ourselves. 
• When an international speaker was told she could not come the day before the conference, a group found a venue outside the Salt Palace for her to share her important message. Sadly, many pro-life and pro-family groups, approved by the UN committee were later vetoed by Mayor Biskupski.
• Alternate documents were created for the two UN documents. Two documents were prepared to be UN models for the world to follow with the SLC stamp on it. 

• 1) Youth Climate Compact original here: 
• (https://outreach.un.org/ngorelations/content/youth-climate-compact-0) and 
• 2) Outcome Statement original here
• (https://outreach.un.org/ngorelations/content/68th-united-nations-civil-society-conference-outcome-statement) 

A courageous, local SLC youth group created an alternate for the Youth Climate Compact because they felt their voices were marginalized.  Another group created an alternate document for the Outcome Statement that can be found and signed here:  https://unfamilyrightscaucus.org/. Over 75 nations have signed it. You are invited to sign as well. 

The language in the UN documents is ambiguous and open to interpretation that could exclude groups, marginalize family and other concerns. It has troubling terms like "robust monitoring mechanisms" and "transformative initiatives," without negotiated interpretation. The alternate outcome document is created with negotiated, consensus, UN language, in part which means the words and their meanings have been agreed upon by national delegates in previous UN conferences. It resonates to me wherever you can create and act on something personally, in your family and community that is more powerful than global action and control. It also is reasonable to me that when you negotiate the interpretation of the language in a document then you can seek consensus and support. In contrast, the two UN documents with SLC name received input, but were not negotiated. Accepted by acclamation meant there was applause, not agreement. I marveled at the grass root efforts of individuals and groups to be inclusive of family and contribute in meaningful and civil dialogue.

          

Three days of looking at documents and hearing discussions on how to build civil societies and sustainable communities leads me to recognize it begins with family. A child's first community and lessons on civility are in the home. These families and homes are the building blocks of communities, nations and the world. International space is a wonderful place to share concerns, resources, discuss solutions and network in ways that protect our most important global resource - the Family. 

His Story Can Be My Story

I want to do better. Be better. Progress. And sometimes I feel stuck. How do you get unstuck? Move forward? I found an antidote in a conversation with my mom.

She was reminiscing recently about her father Otto. His father had learned the trade of cement and making cement blocks. From these skills came two companies, and at one point Otto was president of both. She said, Otto was always looking for ways to upgrade. He bought new machinery to create blocks with different textures and better products. The others may not have agreed nor understood, but Otto wanted to improve and offer clients more. He always did so with integrity and fair competition. My father watched his father-in-law, Otto and it made a deep impression on the way he lived his life and his business pursuits. He said, "Otto because he was a visionary man, fit into my concept of what I wanted to in life... He was never satisfied with the status quo."

What mom shared was very helpful to me. I realized the stories of my people are my stories too. His desire to move forward became encouragement for me. Otto had vision. He knew what he wanted. He spent time and effort to create a better experience for others in the cast stone business. Perhaps part of getting unstuck may be to create the vision of where I want to be. I can think about what I want others to experience as a result of my efforts. To do this requires faith in one's abilities to contribute something of value to others. I can envision the results. I can refuse to accept the status quo in my life. After all, I come from him! I can be visionary and push forward as well. New ways to think from one conversation, one example, of one connected to my DNA. 

When we learn about the past, 

we gather strength for the future.

-Hank Smith