My Tractor Pin

I now wear a tractor pin. My Dad passed away this month and a family member bought tractor pins for his posterity. My Dad loved tractors, and the soil that it tilled and the garden that came from the soil. He loved even more having a child or grandchild by his side on the tractor and in the projects. The tractor is symbolic of his magnificent efforts to encourage the rising generation to have character, a work ethic and skills. 

The pin reminds of his generosity. He put up hundreds of bottles of peaches, beets, beans, applesauce, and tomatoes every year. He gave away wheelbarrow loads of melons and bushels of tomatoes. He gave to the neighbors, family, widows and refugees. He helped my family till our soil, plant our corn and put up tomatoes. With 10 canners going we could put up over 200 quarts of tomatoes in a day!

The pin reminds me to work hard and take responsibility.He would get up often before 6:00 am, head out to the garden, then to the office, then back in the evening to the garden. On Saturday he would work by the side of children or grandchildren teaching them landscaping, mowing lawns, planting and fixing sprinkler pipes. He would work through till 9 or 10 at night and say "Boy we got a lot done!" And he was so HAPPY! He loved every minute. The next day he would call and tell me what great workers my children are.


The pin reminds me of his continual learning.  He loved the New Testament and had 600 scriptures memorized. On his bedstand was Paul's Life and Letters, the scriptures, Consumer Reports and The Blueprint of Christ's Church. 

My dad understood that people who work side by side, in the soil, grow food, and share generously, develop character, and solve their problems. He could see the generational power of transferring values by loving and working with the rising generation. It wasn't about food, it was about empowering and changing the lives of those he loved.

Here is my poem about the pin:

My Dad smiled all the day; 

HIs heavy work was clearly play. 

He got up early before the dawn,

Tilled the field and mowed the lawn. 

Often with a child at side, 

Then on the tractor for a ride.

He gave freely with a smile,

And worked long past the extra mile. 

He memorized large amounts of scripture. 

And was a counselor, friend and teacher. 

He didn't criticize or complain,

Nor make excuses or find blame. 

So it becomes a little harder to sin 

When I wear my tractor pin.

Best Gifts Ever!

I love hearing the phrase in December, "What shall I give?"  We want to give. We want to give something the receiver will love!  We want to give something that symbolizes our love for them. We want that joyful feeling that comes from giving the perfect gift.  

My daughter gave the sweetest joyful gift, and I want to share the joy.  Short on funds and time, she googled best gift ever, and formulated the following: 

One certificate gave each of us Permission to be Happy.  She informed each of us that we had permission to be happy. Funny how that simple phrase made me laugh and realize a gift I had all along without realizing.  The next page explained the best gift is a hug, and she gave each of us a hug. The third gift was a gift of her time. That commodity we hold so tightly and she gave so freely.  With ten members in our family, it was no small gift:

It was a sweet experience to see each child give to their brothers and sisters something that symbolized their love and illustrate they had thought about that person, their wants, and needs. Bless each one for their kind examples. And bless Amanda! Thanks for showing us that so often the best gifts are those of self.

"A beautiful heart can bring things into your life 

that all the money in the world couldn't obtain." 

-Dau Voire

Every Day Matters

There are "everyday days", where nothing earthshaking or monumental seems to be happening that seem to contrast to what I call "formal days", where final events and changes take place. This month I sent my son to Mexico for training, then on to Chile to teach people about the healing that comes from Jesus Christ.  On this formal day, the suitcases were closed and put in the car, final pictures taken, tender hugs exchanged and goodbyes said. He walked through security and my eyes followed him until I couldn't see him any more no matter how hard I squinted my tear filled eyes and strained my neck. Where did the time go? Where is my little boy? And who is this strong man facing forward to new adventures? What led up to this formal day that marks the end of a season and the beginning of another? I realized that the seemingly long time that led up to the parting is made of "everyday days" and "everyday moments."

Sigh. Joy. Gratitude. Happiness. Sadness. Admiration. Longing. Goodness. Memories. Adoration. Pain. Growth. Love. On and on, the flood of feelings is relentless.  Before my mind are memories of beautiful moments and great gratitude that I could be a part of this wonderful person's life who now goes out to bless others in this world. The stark realization came a few weeks ago that each moment of "everyday days" has so much power and potential for warmth, joy and good memories. And that is the point.  There really are no "everyday days," if that means ordinary. I took advantage of small moments in the previous weeks, to give an extra hug, listen and share my encouragement and faith in him. Every day matters in the daily summation of experiences. Every day has the potential to lift and bring light. Every day can provide opportunities for simple memories. Every day matters.

A sweet friend of mine shared an idea from a friend of hers who wrote nightly in her journal: "I'm glad I did..."  and "I wish I had..." Then the next day she got up and did what she wished she had done. Oh how I love that!  So I started.  And usually I find I wish I had said, "I love you," or listened better. So the next day I say and do what I wished I had done! Bless that wonderful mom for that fabulous idea! Today I see more clearly how every day matters and is leading towards ends and beginnings. Today I resolve to begin and end more days with deliberate expressions of love to those around me. Today I consciously acknowledge that the seemingly uneventful is full of power and potential. 

You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they will be a little bigger then they are today. This day is a gift. Breathe and notice. ...Enjoy today ...           It will be over before you know it. 

-Jen Hatmaker

Remember the Rice

We did an experiment recently. We talked to rice. Seriously, we did. I had two jars of cooked rice and gave instructions to my family to talk very nicely to the jar full of rice marked "love."  A second jar of rice was marked "hate" and passed around with instructions to talk meanly into that jar.  Why would anyone do such a thing?  Well, I heard two motivational speakers share this idea with large audiences and I wanted to give it a try. So with a few strange looks from my family, statements like "You cute little rice, you are so darling!  You always do the right thing!  We are so proud of you," were spoken to those little grains in the love jar. Statements like "You are terrible! I am so disappointed," and the like were spoken to those little grains in the hate jar.  Then they were both shoved back into a dark corner of the pantry.  A couple of months later I pulled them out and this is what I saw:

I was stunned.  My family would not have believed it had they not seen it with their own eyes. What a difference! Now I know this little family exercise was not carried out with scientific precision. Nevertheless, the results were shocking and their implications for our daily conversation about how we believe in each other and treat each other were even more compelling. Words have power!

Similarly, Masaru Emoto; a Japanese author and researcher born in 1934, conducted experiments that showed words and thoughts can change the molecular structure of water.  He is well known for the water crystals created when he labeled bottles of water then placed them in subzero temperatures and photographed the crystals.  The results are here: Dr Masaru Emoto's Water Experiment - Words are Alive!  Learning of his experiments and seeing the rice give new understanding to the power of words.  When conversations get a little tense here, we say, "Remember the RIce."  Or "Don't hurt my inner rice." 

When you finish reading this, you will have opportunities to share all kinds of words. What will they be? Will they be healing or hurtful? Kind or curt? Joyful or jabbing? Clearly they will have more impact than we might ever have imagined. Literally, we have the opportunity before us to create a better world, word by word every day. 

 Gentle words bring life and health; 
a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
-Proverbs 15:4

"And God Saw That It Was Good"

"And God saw that it was good." This is the pronouncement at day's end during the creation record in Genesis. After the dry lands are separated from the earth, after the grass, herb and tree are created, God says "it was good." Continuing up to the crowning creation of Eve, it changes to "very good" on the sixth day. 

As I go to bed, I realized I recount the negative; those things that did not happen, and the never ending to do list. At day's end, I'm seeing what is NOT good. This leads to unrestful sleep, discouragement and some anxiety. 

So recently reading God's pronouncement on his creations at the end of each day, I felt the Lord giving me a message to change my pattern. I saw that If God saw that at the end of each creation period, it was good, then I would too. Celebration is the new evening plan. Simple declarations of good such as:

• We ate dinner! 
• Some dishes are getting done! 
• I smiled at my children! 
• I sent an inspiring text to tell a family member I loved them.
• Wahoo!  We rock here!
• It was good! 
• I see that It is good.

I am amazed at the measure of peace that follows. Celebration creates a psychological fortress that keeps out the discouragement and is emotionally indispensable. 

All these years I've read the creation record and failed to see the critical component at the end of the day, until now.  Now I have a way to put in place the good each day where it belongs in a verbal pronouncement.  And that is "very good!"

Believe

Who can guess the amount of good that comes from simply knowing someone believes in you?  Parents are in the most critical position to give these life changing expressions of belief to the little people in their care.  "You can do it!"  "I knew you could!"  "Of course you'll make it!"  "One more step!" These are just a few of the countless encouraging comments given in families every day that light the way to growth and progress. Those positive expressions are more powerful than we know. 

Both neighbors and strangers can also express belief in ways that lift us long beyond the time the words are said. I crossed a busy parking lot one day, holding my children's hands and shepherding children to the side of me after attending an event. As a car drove by my little family, (meaning little in stature, not little in number) a man leaned out the window of his family car and said, "My children and I think you look like a fun mom."  That made my day!  Well then, I think I will be a fun mom, I thought.

It was a simple but powerful expression of belief.  To have others believe in you is one of the greatest blessings on this earth.  But to believe in others is an invitation to an even greater treasure.

That is the challenge to myself and my invitation to you: To express belief to both loved ones in your home and the community near and worldwide in the simplest of ways. Tell your son, your husband, the neighbor and the stranger at the grocery store something good you see in them.  Express your gratitude, encouragement, delight and heartfelt belief in others efforts particularly in family and watch the goodness ripple outward. 

I believe in you. I believe in your family. I believe in the goodness of people everywhere who brilliantly live and give the kind of love that believes and sacrifices for another. Be that light in the darkness and the ripple in the pond.  Believe.

You Are Not Alone

Some time ago, I asked a dear friend a parenting question.  As helpful as answers would have been, It was also helpful to her her say, "You know, I never did very well with that."  And a different kind of helpful reached my soul. It was the feeling: "you are not alone."  The companion thought being, "I struggle with that too."

With profound gratitude, I thank those who have traveled the parenting path and provided, support, encouragement, principles and answers for me.  We all need help and reassurance as we travel the family journey.  In a different way,  I feel deeply connected to those who offered the support and love and reassurance by simply having lived through similar experiences and helping me feel, "you are not alone."

Perhaps you too have lost a loved family member. Maybe as an adult, in their childhood, or before being born. Learning of the ache others have felt and their comfort eased my pain. You are not alone.

Perhaps you have lost a family member to different values and paths that cause a deep anguish in your soul. You are not alone.

Perhaps your family has struggles with unresolvable health issues, addictions,  debilitating patterns and habits. There is help available and you are not alone.

Perhaps you have questions, uncertainties or financial problems. Whatever your challenge, someone has faced something similar and can offer solace, counsel, and friendship.

I have not experiences all of these, but I know those who have. And I have received strength from others who have reminded me, "you are not alone."

There are wonderful mothers and fathers and children out there living every day the best they know how. We have so much to offer each other. Let your voice be heard. Ask questions, share your successes, give comfort. I created a new website at family-to-family.com to do just that. It is set up so families can share with each other on the Family to Family Facebook page. You are needed. Families helping families. Families cheering other families. Family to family. You are not alone.

We are all connected, and kindness is that voice that softly says, 

"I see you.  I honor you.  You are not alone."  

-Kelly Rae Roberts