Home a holy place

Voices

I've heard a lot of voices this month. I recently returned from visiting the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women 61. I heard:

Voices that demand funding. Voices that tell of healing efforts for victims of sex trafficking. Voices that demand equal rights. Voices that shout programs. Voices that demand gender equality. Voices that request help for refugees. Voices that speak of ridding women of the burden of motherhood. Voices that speak of the critical role of motherhood. Voices that speak of the oppression by men. Voices that speak of the empowerment fathers can give.

Underlying some voices is the stark reality of unmet needs, pain, and suffering. Hidden in some voices is the siren song of selfishness and hidden agendas. Intrinsic in some voices were hearts that are helping bring relief and rescue to a suffering world.

I weep that 2 million children are subjected to prostitution in the global commercial sex trade. (UNICEF) (http://arkofhopeforchildren.org/child-trafficking/child-trafficking-statistics), that nearly 1 in 100 people worldwide are now displaced from their homes, and and estimated 12.5 million Syrians are displaced. (http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2016/10/05/key-facts-about-the-worlds-refugees/) and that abortions are forced on Colombian guerilla women in the military. Surely there is no end to the injustice, suffering and pain everywhere and anywhere on this planet.

I appreciated the voices of thoughtful questions and meaningful discussions. After demands for funding and declarations of oppression in reference to refugee camps, an attendee asked; "What is being done to involve the men in the solution?" After the session, she shared with me, "Did we think we are going to solve this without them?" When I shared these comments with a beautiful Nigerian woman, she responded with: "And that is the point!" This beautiful Nigerian woman also shared with me her family's challenge to overcome poverty and education. She praised her mother and father in the struggle saying, "It was really difficult, but we emerged victorious!"

What voices do I listen to? What is my voice declaring? Everyone person on this earth is of infinite value. The compassion of both women and men, and the gifts of healing that each bring to the table in different ways are part of moving towards answers. People everywhere who give of their time and talent to create places of healing, health and wholeness subtract pain and loneliness from the world sum of suffering. There are wonderful people everywhere who want to help and be a part of the solution. I believe it is individuals, local communities, private and religious charitable groups that seem to be making the most meaningful progress internationally. Government solutions tend to be convoluted and agenda laden. I believe in the traditional family as the healthiest growing place on every measurable indicator for children. I add my voice to the many, loving, nurturing women on every continent who see their role as mother as critical to the moral and economic survival of their families, communities, cities and nations. It is a choice. It is my choice. And adding to the wisdom of my new Nigerian friend; though the tragic difficulties on every side seem insurmountable, the pain and suffering mountainous, we will build on what's working, work together for each other's well being and we shall emerge victorious!

Simple Joys and Priorities

For a long time I thought if I were just smart enough or fast enough, I could get it all done. I would plow through tasks thinking "I'll get there!" But I never did. The to-do list always piled higher than the time allotted. While there is much to be said for getting in and getting a job done, there is more to be said for setting priorities and getting the right jobs done.

Today it was satisfying to bake bread with my daughter. I made onion bread and she made pretzels. It took us a few hours and we read the last few verses in Matthew chapter six in between letting the bread rise and the yeast ferment. As we mixed our flour, kneaded and shaped the dough we listened to Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and Ben Shapiro from the Harvard Law School. (They don't speak together, it was just the two speakers we chose today.) She rolled out the pretzel shapes and I shaped the round loaves of onion bread, sprinkling sesame seeds on top. Baking bread together had been on my list for some time, but never urgent and reaching priority until today. It was a perfect way to practice bread making skills, share the bread with others, and participate together in a nurturing creative activity that fed our souls and other souls as well. While it was snowy outside, we felt warm and sunny inside. It was one of those mornings you want to remember for a long time. There were things that didn't get done today, but I had the wonderful satisfaction of aligning an activity with a top priority.

Clayton Christensen said in reference to priorities, "...ultimately, [it] means nothing if you do not align those with where you actually expend your time, money and energy."

I'm finding when time and resources are aligned with top priorities, the other stuff fades away or heaven takes care of the details. I saw this happen this week as a weighty responsibility that may have taken several hours was taken off my plate as a friend volunteered her talent. I also had a valuable time saving idea came to me early in the morning.

It means I have to let go. Be vigilant with top priorities. And place my time and resources toward those priorities. And that top priority is family. The scripture we read in Matthew six? "Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." My heart was full today.

Creating a Signature

Everyone has their own signature. We start early when we sign our name and proudly announce our identity!

A signature announces who we are. It the acknowledged way to "seal" or "bind" documents and legal transactions. In the public square it is recognized as unique to a person's identity.

I love to think of the delightful, sometimes quirky things those around me do that bear their "signature," or identity that is so unique to their character. These marked behaviors or habits endear these people to me. For instance when I hear the signature whistle of a church hymn, I know my Dad is near. If I look the least bit sad, I can count on a signature hug from my daughter. I also love her signature phrases, "You can do it!" and "Do a power pose!" When I hear a "signature" caring tone of voice saying "How are you?" I know it is my brother. Other "signatures" I love include hearing my husband sing, a neighbor that always, I mean always, says something kind, and another neighbor that I can count on to smile and say my name.

Having teenagers most often is pure delight. Except for when occasionally it is not. Recently I took a brutal step into reality due to their honest appraisal of some of my faults, which leads me to the realization that some of my signature habits I don't want.

Hence, my new signature goals for 2017. I'm working towards signature traits that cause others to say, "She always...." and then what is inserted here is some wonderful trait that would be my identity. I'm loving the possibilities here. Here is a partial list, which I admit has the obvious implication that presently I am exhibiting its opposite. (That is why we set goals.)

"She has such a way of listening. You know you are heard and loved."

"When she walks in the room, you just know she will smile at you and

give a compliment."

"You can count on her to do what she says she will do."

"She has such a calm way about her."

We can imagine and then create a personal life signature with daily effort to make it happen. And that is an exciting thing!

Coming Back Up!

The respiratory flu made its rounds right about Christmas. It was far nastier than I thought. Michael was sick on the Friday before Christmas and then most of us took our turn. Tuesday was the day of attack on me and down I went. I've been sick maybe once in 6-7 years and I was so cockeyed sure that I was immune to this one. Not so. Horizontal was the only possible stance to fight from. After a couple of days of withdrawing from the known world, I moved into accomplish something mode. But it wasn't smart. I'm tired, really tired. And the frustrations appear. Then I was mad. Then sad. So my small attempt to inspire today is to share the following smart things to do list:

Smart things to do: when you are mad, sad, down or have said not smart things:
(This list is meant to be anecdotal, not prescriptional.)

Recognize if you have been indoors for four days, you are not rational.
Go for a walk outside.
Carefully study and notice the beauty in the natural world around you.
Write down how you feel and burn it. Do it again.
Say "I'm sorry."
Clean something.
Listen to good music.
Rest.
Have a simple, light conversation.
List things you are grateful for.
Notice any bit of improvement and celebrate immediately.

"...Has given my heart

A change of mood..."

(from "Dust of Snow" by Robert Frost

Generosity Brings Abundance

With a big sigh I crossed the Costco parking lot realizing again that being ahead of the game would have made today and the coming holiday season easier. I had not yet begun Christmas preparations and was feeling a bit overwhelmed. The quiet thought came, "Give Christmas to the Savior." Meaning, I felt, don't stress, trust Him, and He will make it better than you possibly could. That thought was renewing despite the heavy feeling I couldn't seem to shake. A few minutes later I returned to the car with groceries and started loading them in the second seat as I had parked facing out and a large white truck had parked behind me and there wasn't space to open the back. Then a man called out cheerily, "Can I lift your groceries? After all, I parked so close behind you, you can't use the back." I was stunned. Seriously, I was the one who chose to park facing out, primarily causing my own problem, which really was a non-problem, but there he was cheerily helping me with the groceries and hauling my cart back. Waving a thank you, I jumped in my suburban and thought about his generosity and began to cry. His generosity of spirit touched me deeply. Generosity softens hearts and engenders gratitude. Heaven surely must be watching over me already and sending the message, Give Christmas to Me. and I wanted to be generous too.

The next day at Thanksgiving a beautiful table of pumpkin and fruit pies was set out on beautiful plates at alternating levels with silver servers made by my talented niece. You could feel the labor of love just looking at that table. After the meal, my generous sister-in-law encouraged us to take extra pie home. Her spirit of generosity filled and flowed through the kitchen and hearts. Again, I was stunned at the excitement that this simple act of generosity created as some of us contemplated pie for breakfast the next day.

I'm reminded of the simple gifts of notes, rocks and picked flowers my younger children would bring me. They have nothing, they give it all, and the spirit of abundance is present. Generosity is not having and then giving. It is giving and then having.

In rediscovering this attribute of generosity, I define and discover generosity as: a healing attribute that softens hearts. A contagious characteristic born of gratitude. That which when exercised creates abundance.

The Annual Review: Why I Garden

I walked outside early this morning to gather the last of the tomatoes. Even though there was a light frost a few weeks ago, the previously green ones, were now a ripe red and peeked out between the brownish vines. They looked plump and juicy. What a treat for a late October day! The smell of tomatoes filled my nose as I clipped the vines and removed the tomato cages. The almost warm wind sent a reminder of the change in the seasons and the dappled sunlight through the leaves of trees had a shimmering effect on the soil. The spaghetti and butternut squash openly rested on the brown dirt sending comforting thoughts of satisfying and nurturing future soups and breads. A peace comes as one prepares for the coming rest of wintertime, knowing there will be healthy food on the table. The ground is a testament to the results of taking care of the earth. I see the terrestrial completion of seeds planted in faith, worked with care, and the resultant harvest. Both thoughts of the work ahead to ready the soil for another year and gratitude for the abundant harvest fill my heart and mind.

As I'm pondering these thoughts, enter recalcitrant unwilling help and/or not help from children who had other designs for their day. The tomato cages need to come in, the potatoes dug, the spaghetti squash cut and cured. Then I ask my annual questions: Is this what I want to do with my time? Why do I garden? Mentally, I list my con arguments:

so much time required (planning, planting, weeding, watering, harvesting, preserving.)
the constant challenge to persuade and follow up on the family assignments. This involves encouraging recalcitrant, unwilling people who remind me they have other things to do.

Then I mentally list my pro arguments:

Connection: I am connected to heaven as we co-create this plot of planet earth. Heaven teaches me of gratitude, patience, work, nurture and joy in the garden creation.
Conversation: Working side by side with family creates space and time for sharing thoughts, humor, and challenges. I particularly enjoyed a recent garden conversation with a child about the joy of real things versus the artificial.
Independence and initiative: We can produce, try new things and enjoy the self sufficiency of growing our own food. This builds confidence and capability.
Health: Organic. Fresh. Green. Not to mention the exercise in fresh air and the mental health benefit of garden creation.
Experience the law of the harvest: Work and labor with God's help bring abundant results. We see the generosity of heaven, feel to rejoice and share with family, and friends.

These moments of remembering bring me to the annual conclusion: Gardening will continue. I remind myself in this mental ritual that more than vegetable seeds are growing here. We are growing people, hopefully people with connection, understanding, independence, healthy habits, gratitude and generosity.

I almost hear the garden whisper in the morning sunlight, keep placing "faith in the earth." There is a peace, healing, and abundance here. I hope they will find the same in their own family gardens one day. As they capably and willingly now retire the tomato cages, I can just begin to taste the joyful reflection of both harvests, sweeter than I imagined.

A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them. Liberty Hyde Bailey
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/l/libertyhyd198927.html

Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions. They thrive because someone expended effort on them.
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/l/libertyhyd198927.html

"If you've never experienced the

joy of accomplishing

more than you can imagine,

plant a garden."

~ Robert Brault

Why I Look Back

What is it about family history? Why do I feel this continual tug to gather family stories? Why do I feel this hunger to know what the women and men I came from were like?

Yesterday I asked on a family facebook page if anyone had information about Anna Bertha Geigle, my great grandmother who came from Germany and had 11 children. From a link a family member sent me I learned among other things that her home was a gathering place for friends and neighbors, that she made wonderful sandwiches for others and good apple cottage cheese pies. That simple piece speaks to me. Is it because I too want to make my home a place where people gather, are fed great food and feel at home? While places and props differ, is my desire so different from hers today? I wish I could peek into the past and learn more from her, her thoughts and desires.

As I look back, I find stories like these:

My dad's horses ran away and he prayed for help to get them back and his prayer was answered.
My great great grandfather was sent to build roads in Southern Utah by Brigham Young. He was promised amazing blessings, all of which came to pass, including finding a silver mine.
My mom found herself under a moving car as a young child and rolled out unhurt on her way to school.
My great grandmother reached out to the community and taught sewing and self reliance to young girls. She provided for her family for decades as a result of her husband's disappearance.
My grandfather was progressive, always looking for new ways to do things. He was also a listener and people always felt like they knew what to do after talking to him, yet he never told them what to do.

This history of moms, dads, babies, children, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, gives their posterity a rich heritage of successes, failures, sadnesses and joys from which to learn. The similarity and proximity of their stories remind us that we are inseparably connected.

Hundreds of years ago, two parents sent their four children to Jerusalem to get family records engraved on plates. They risked their lives to have these stories. They likely knew they would never return to their home town and the stories required by heaven among other things were necessary to sustain strength and build faith in them and their posterity as they traveled in the wilderness. I feel like that. I'm retrieving my "plates" to help me and mine in our wildernesses. My children and their skills are key in this quest. I love the emails from my daughter to my mother that say, "Tell me about your mom. Tell me stories about when you were little."

What am I looking back to find? I'm looking for identity and compassion. I'm seeking strength and protection. I'm searching for faith and understanding. Their roles and identity were clear to them, and I see the fruits. Compassion is evident in their examples of sacrifice and reaching out to others. Strength emerges as I see they did hard things, so I can too. Protection comes to those who seek to bless those who have passed on by doing for them what they cannot do for themselves. Faith and understanding wrap around me as I appreciate their struggles and sacrifices. When they succeed, I want to shout for joy, and when they struggle I want to wrap my arms around them and reassure them. And maybe they feel the same way about us.

I'm searching for the stories that bear these things out to pass on to my children. If ever there was a time they needed examples of identity and compassion it is now. If ever there was a season for strength and protection, it is today. And if ever there was an urgency for faith and understanding, it is before us. The hope is as we look back, we can then move forward with vision and purpose. That is why I look back.