In the Beginning God Created...

In the Beginning God Created…

Duct tape bow ties.  A paper bug box – with paper insects to go inside and a live potato bug.  A traveling museum (with dead snake skin and really good dirt among many insects and other living or once living things.)  A homemade library.  A tinfoil tea set (it holds water.)  Shoe box traveling float contest.  Yarn dolls. Twisty tie animals.  A dozen homemade cardboard box doll houses.  A Christ craft center.  This is a partial list of things my nine year old daughter has been making.  Non stop. Tape, scissors, little bits of paper, string, fabric, cardboard, glue - evidence of creation everywhere.

In Genesis we learn God created the earth and it was good.  So what does creation look like in a Holy Home?  I believe we participate in His Creation when we invite children to our home.  I believe we have the privilege to create daily, the conditions, environment, and opportunities that encourage our children to learn of God and to make this world a better place.  And we can encourage and find joy in the creativity of our children - whether it is a grand piano or a grand mess!

The Message is: You Are Loved

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The Message Is:  You Are Loved

One day many years ago, I said some unkind things to my sister.  She calmly turned to face me and said, “I love you.”   Wham!  That was more powerful at changing my heart than any other response ever.  I responded “Oh no you don’t!” but in my heart I knew she did.  I knew I was wrong.  I knew her love had more power and influence than my irritation and pettiness.  I have reflected many times on that small incident with big and lasting impact.

Several months ago, I lost my temper and was frustrated and irritated.  My dear, sweet eleven year old son turned and said, “Mom I love you – how can I help you?”  Wham!  That was more powerful at changing my heart than any other single thing that any other person could have done at that moment.  

What is it that is so powerful when kindness is returned for unkindness?

Why does unconditional love change hearts?  How does one overcome evil with good?

The message is - you are loved.  You are loved unconditionally.  Even with our prideful, recalcitrant, rebellious souls, the message is - you are loved.

I realized that is how God loves each of us.  We are His children that continually fall short of his commandments yet He loves us.  As I strive and fall short – I still feel His love.  And that unconditional love works on me and helps me want to change. 

The Savior said:

A soft answer turneth away wrath.  (Proverbs 15:1) 

Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:21)

Therefore let your ^alight so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and ^bglorify your Father who is in heaven. (3 Nephi 12:16)

Thank you Julie and Michael for letting your light shine. 

Home is a Holy Place because in the midst of our unholiness, a perfect God loves us into a more holy life. 

Home-A Holy Place Where Hearts Are Changed

Home - A Holy Place Where Hearts are Changed

Michael was sent to his room for refusing to obey.  His “I’ll never give in” defiant attitude gave me the realization we were probably in for another long battle of the wills.  “I’ll be back in a few minutes to talk,” I said and within maybe two minutes I hear “I’m ready to come out and I’m ready to obey.”  Total shock.  Did I hear right?  Remember, this is the child with the will of the Roman Army.  Out he comes as humble and bright and happy as could be.  What a contrast to the two minutes before when he was as defiant and miserable as could be!

“What caused you to change so fast?”  I said.

“I prayed,” he triumphantly replied.

His heart changed.  Quickly.  Completely. Through prayer.   Wow!  What a lesson for me.  When I pray for the Lord’s help to change my stubborn heart, am I receptive to His help that is so freely given?

I remember when I was so irritated at someone, and the Lord told me He loved her - and I could too.  And the time I was extremely angry and the Lord said “Let it go.” Then He helped me let it go.  And the time I was given an opportunity to serve that I didn’t want, and the Lord showed me the way to gain a love for the people I would serve and a passion for the cause involved.

When we look to God to change our hearts, He helps. And I learned from Michael when we want what God wants more than what we want, we can enjoy the miracle of a changed heart.

As the Winds Blow - Build with Bricks

As the Winds Blow - Build with Bricks

One day I heard my two year old son repeating aloud while holding a book:  “chin-chin-chin… fuff-fuff-fuff… blow house in, chin-chin-chin… fuff-fuff-fuff… blow house in.”  He couldn’t read, but he knew the story of the Three Little Pigs and was recounting it with gusto.  The story reduced to the dramatic climax brought to mind for me the fact that there are forces out there that threaten to blow the house in – my house – your house.  If the wolf hasn’t come or the winds haven’t already started to blow, they will. There are forces of doubt, discouragement, apathy, immorality,  pornography, drugs, false ideas, pride, greed, hate, violence and evil. There are winds of financial disaster, health challenges and devastating accidents.  So how might we protect our house?   I think of the Savior teaching the following parable:

Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.  -Matthew 7

The winds, floods and rain pounded on every house – it didn’t matter whether it was built on sand or rock.  So if there isn’t a guarantee against problems, then what protection is in building on the rock?  I’m thinking it is that it will stand.  It will not fall.  It is an inward protection.  It is all about the kind of person we are becoming and God cares about that very much.  He cares who we serve and where we look for strength.  He cares who we are during the storm and after the storm.

Five months into my first pregnancy we discovered there was no heartbeat. I gave birth to a stillborn baby boy.  I was devastated.  But perhaps it was then I began a personal journey of learning to trust the Lord. I felt during that experience God's love for me and some understanding over the years has come piece by piece.  That has given me a pattern to fall back on.  

I watch friends and family who have and do face the winds, floods, and rain of financial difficulty, disappointment, debilitating health challenges, cancer, gender disorientation, rebellion, drug addiction, pornography addiction and accidents who trust God.  I can’t deny the light and hope and strength I see in them as they face their storms with faith in Christ.  If the light they radiate is connected to Him, then building on the rock in obedience and perseverance must be the most powerful weapon against the adversary I can imagine.  

The wolf can’t blow the house down if we look upward to God.  Every scripture, every prophetic teaching, every heaven sent inspiration followed by action is to build brick by brick a personal house of hope, faith and strength that will stand. 

As We Strive To Overcome - God Encourages Us To Be Like Him

I sat in the garage.  I counted to ten.  I had not calmed down one little bit.  I counted again. Still angry.   I counted again.  I counted again and again and again.  One.  Two.  Three.  Four.  Five.  Six.  Seven…  Eight….  Nine.... Ten….  Pause.   Breathe.  “How do I do this?  What kind of mother do you want me to be?”  Perspective starts to return and I begin to see my children’s misbehavior differently.  Instead of feeling like a bad mom, I began to see their disobedience as an opportunity to lovingly remind them of the family rules and follow through with the consequences – with love.  And continue.  With love.  The events that brought me to the garage did not mean a big problem with parenting…. but how I responded to the problem was a critical part of parenting. 

And doesn’t God work with us in a similar way?  When I make mistakes, I feel that He shows me a better way and he still lets me know He loves me.  So I will go back in the house and let them know I love them.  I will remind them that we have rules and consequences in our home because I love them just as God has commandments because He loves us.  He sees the bigger picture and knows that tutoring me in His laws will bring me to greater freedom and understanding.  I want to do the same for my children.

I guess part of the frustration is that I’m in the garage so often.  Can’t I learn this a little faster?  I am not failing.  However painfully small my steps are – nevertheless they are steps in the right direction.  I love these words from D. Todd Christofferson, especially the part about repeated attempts.

…repentance means striving to change. It would mock the Savior’s suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross for us to expect that He should transform us into angelic beings with no real effort on our part. Rather, we seek His grace to complement and reward our most diligent efforts (see 2 Nephi 25:23). Perhaps as much as praying for mercy, we should pray for time and opportunity to work and strive and overcome. Surely the Lord smiles upon one who desires to come to judgment worthily, who resolutely labors day by day to replace weakness with strength.  Real repentance, real change may require repeated attempts, but there is something refining and holy in such striving.
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/the-divine-gift-of-repentance?lang=eng 

I love that!   “…there is something refining and holy in such striving.” Even in the garage.

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As We Reach Up, Heaven Reaches Out

Perhaps when you think of a holy place you think of a quiet and peaceful religious edifice.  I think of home.  Yes, even though it is generally busy and noisy – and sometimes messy and confusing.   It is quiet and peaceful at 3:00 a.m.  (I checked.)  And it can be holy.  God places us in our family circles where we need and see each others needs so profoundly.   What is so miraculous to me is how often in meeting family needs such as clothing, feeding and caring for others, it feels anything but holy - yet, I cannot deny that in this process of our reaching up, Heaven reaches out. 

Years ago when one of my children was very young, perhaps 3 or 4, I had an interesting experience that I have drawn on again and again.  I recognize it may not apply to other similar situations - but it was a parenting breakthrough for me.  I was giving my son his night time bath.  It was a difficult process because no matter what I said, he did not want to cooperate.  Every effort was a battle, every instruction a fight. I was confused and frustrated.   Why?  What?  How?  I offered a heartfelt prayer to heaven, "Why does he fight against everything I say?"  The thought came so distinctly to my mind, "He doesn't feel in charge of his life."  A quick and clear answer like that was not common for me.  The answer was completely foreign to my thinking.  Is that what he needs?  I thought about it over and over again.   I began to consider more often how to help my children see their capacity to make choices and to own their decisions.  My child needed me to teach him in a truthful way about his power to choose and the consequences that follow.   Certainly it wasn’t the end of conflict for that child or the others, but it was the beginning of a critical new perception on my part. 

My son needed a bath and someone to teach him how to use his freedom. I needed light and understanding.  And “God gave the increase.”  (1 Corinthians 3:6)  Then for a moment – we were in a holy place.