Power from the Past and Power to Change the Past

Hanna. Mary. Sarah. William. Carl. Philip. Jane. Marie. Rosine.  While I have never met these people, their DNA runs through my body and their blood through my veins. What were their wishes, hopes and dreams? Their fears and weaknesses? How much of their soul aspirations and struggles mirror mine?  How do they help me now as I stand at the crossroads between them and my children? How do I help them?

I read recently the story of Edwin, a pioneer ancestor of mine. He was on the pioneer trail and the company had not had meat for days. He was assigned to find the deer they had seen previously. Edwin was an excellent marksman, found the deer and quickly brought it down. Almost simultaneously he heard the wolves who began chasing him. He ran as fast as he could to the deer, quickly quartered it, put three pieces in a tree and packed the fourth to take back to camp. The howling wolves came closer and closer until it felt like they were on his heels. Edwin prayed. The thought almost as a voice came to his mind to turn around and shoot the wolf leader. He turned around and fired right between the leaders eyes, and the pack immediately fell on the fresh meat. He was able to safely get back to camp to share the meat and then go back to get the deer in the tree.  

I love this! It gives me courage as I face things that threaten to destroy me. I feel a renewed sense of divine caring and love, knowing I can pray for answers too. When my challenges look impossible, I think of Edwin and his capacity to keep trying even when it looked like all was lost. I draw strength from the past. My past. A dear friend said: 

The more stories you know, the more real the people become, and the more they become part of your family. And it starts to feel like you have a cheering section of family members who have made it through hard things and who know you can too!

It is also true that generational challenges can be passed on to us.  Dr. Judith Rich said:

As you step to the front of the line in your ancestry, the energy they embodied has been passed on and is now expressing as you and those of your current generation in the lineage. As you transform, the energy of the entire lineage preceding you is transformed, for it is all happening now through you, as you. You are the one who can heal old wounds for your entire lineage, forgive old enemies, shift conditioning and beliefs, release pain that has held preceding generations captive for centuries.   https://www.huffpost.com/entry/healing-the-wounds-of-you_b_853632

So my personal struggles may ultimately be my victory. I can change it for those going back, and those following me. Any generational tendencies towards resentment, anger, addictions or any other unhealthy character trait or generational weaknesses becomes my personal battle ground to save thousands, maybe more. What an intriguing idea! I not only have the baton passed to make changes now, but healing goes back through the generations and forward to my children. As we make the trek to overcome any bitter past, we free those before and after us. I alone make the choice. This is one of the most powerful and liberating ideas of our day. 

There is an infinite capacity to influence others by looking to those before us, lovingly embrace and embody their victories, claiming them as our own. There is also eternal meaning and power in persistently overcoming generational challenges, freeing those before and after us.

Ordinary Mothers Can Have Extraordinary Children

Ordinary mothers can have extraordinary children. 

I read this in a blog and realized this a truth to get excited about!  I am very ordinary, yet my children are anything but ordinary.  They read, learn and serve.  They play musical instruments, write, and teach. They think hard, gain skills and set goals. Each at different times in different ways of course, but here's the awesome part. We don't have to be amazing to have amazing children! As I started my parenting journey, I was poorly prepared, had few skills and less experience. And I never cease to be amazed at how forgiving and resilient children are even as we make our many mistakes. Here are my favorite tools for the toolkit of how an ordinary mom can have extraordinary children:

1.  Love them like crazy. When your children know they are the most important people in the world to you, it will give them a security and confidence that no other experience can. Listening to them and responding to their needs will build the trust that love is built on. 

2.  Read good literature to them.  Worlds and lessons of the past will open up to them from the pages you read. There is no substitute for the priceless value discussions you will have as you read from literature that shows character growth.

3.  Provide opportunities to learn and share. Go on museum expeditions, nature walks, hikes, travel, and music lessons.  Find out what they are interested in and find ways to pursue it. Are there lego clubs nearby?  Contests they can enter? What does your community provide that they can learn from?  What about home responsibilities?  Find ways to work together and also for them to complete assigned tasks. Chores or home tasks, provide opportunities to learn caring and be trustworthy. Help them look outward and see opportunities to serve others. 

It has absolutely amazed me how a few simple things have made such a big difference. You can't tell in the middle of the battle sometimes what is working and what is not. And yes! You can do this! These are simple things that bring amazing results. I know ordinary mothers can have extraordinary children! 

Deforestation

The thick 

and lush forest, 

Stood tall for centuries.

One by one the trunks 

Were assaulted with saws.

The trees cried out in pain 

As each trunk went down, down 

To the forest floor.

80,000 acres a day

Gone.

Each day, 

for decades. 

The land cried out:

Where are the trees?

They said 
the forest 

was a burden. 
The trees left
And hearts were empty.

The few trees 

that remained,

Hovered over the seedlings, 

and the young trees,

Giving shelter, nurturing life,

 sustaining culture,

Laboring long to grow a mighty forest.

Knowing strong trees would grow 

that would bear fruit

In time

With joy. 

The Greatest Work

The Colosseum, the Pantheon, and St. Peter's Basilica are monumental works taking a colossal effort to build with relics, walls, and history that have been telling their stories for centuries. Like many more of Rome's historic monuments and other historic places around the world, the remains tell the story of what the people or leaders valued at the time. I just returned from a two week trip to Italy where I spent days walking through amazing architectural and artistic works of the ages. I marveled at the grandeur and detail. I am in awe of the sheer size of these buildings and incredible talent of those that created them.

I also spent the day in the home of a beautiful Italian family. They prepared nurturing and wonderful food for all of us. We walked through their herb and fruit garden sharing the qualities of herbs and the joy of a garden. The wife spoke Spanish and I spoke a little Spanish, both of our husbands spoke Italian and in a raw and enthusiastic fashion we all communicated. We shared about our children, our dreams for them, our aging parents and those that have passed on. We shared about our beliefs in God and values.



The power of Italy and of any nation is not in its tourist attractions, its ancient history or the art left from the centuries. It is in its homes. The homes of the people are the power of the country. I felt that truth strongly as we spent time together. I saw a strong mother and father, who cared deeply about their children, sacrificed and prayed for them, taught them and loved them. The power of this simple pattern carried through the millennia bore witness deeply in my soul. You want to make a difference in your community, your nation? Focus on your children first. The greatest work is not in stone, but in the fleshy hearts of those under the roof of your home. The greatest structure in Rome is the Home.

Motherhood Calling

Waaahhh! The baby calls!  I am a new grandma and I'm reminded that when the baby is hungry, you know it! Mom answers the call. This new little bundle is trying to make sense of the world. Can I trust people to take care of me? Am I safe? The baby calls out for their needs to be met and part of motherhood is providing that food, comfort, and care. This is how the child makes sense of their world. The mother answers the child's call and the baby learns to trust and love.

This baby calling becomes a calling for mothers. Motherhood is a calling. And the calls keep coming as baby grows. What kind of a world is this? How does the child make sense of today's world? It's divisions? It's voices? It's complexities? It's challenges? Who better than a mother? The child calls forth the best motherhood has to offer.  

From her, the child watches how to give, receive, learn, and change. From her, the child learns values and what matters. From her, the child learns how to handle joy and pain, success and difficulty. The child watches how she treats others and what effect that has on relationships with others.  Every interaction is teaching something about how to navigate home and navigate the world. The mother is the most influential voice in her home, in the rising generation, and in shaping the world. The call is to be her to be her best self as a new little person is watching everything she says and does, a powerful pattern that has been in place for thousands of years.

Women everywhere answer this call and calling by giving birth, adopting children, offering love and support to a child and caring about the rising generation.  They answer the calling every time they teach how to listen, share values, meet needs, and declare truth. The culture a mother provides is the best antidote to the current culture divide. I saw in this newest mother's home, multiplied the world over, mothers answering the call of a baby, which will bring trust and peace, not only in one tiny home, but to the world at large. Motherhood, the calling that shapes the world, one mother and baby at a time.

Have You Packed Your Ancestors?

My daughter packed her bags about three weeks ago in preparation to have a baby.  With all the usual is a very unusual packet of papers.  She has packed pictures of her maternal ancestors who are coming to the birth with her. I wouldn't be surprised if Heaven arranges to have her maternal ancestor angels there in person as well.  Angela is going to do what the women in those pictures have done for millennia - bring a child through the veil of mortality.  She will invite a helpless, hungry baby in her life. Her greatest joys and deepest sorrows will be in and around this greatest of adventures. She will take upon her the journey of the ages to raise a child; nurture and love like her ancestor mothers. She will mentor and coach like her mother ancestors. She will teach, train and educate in the maternal patterns of the millennia. She will whisper in her baby's ear, she will read at her bedside and teach the volumes of light and truth in her soul.  Every word she speaks and action she does will speak what she knows and believes. She will defend and protect with her husband as millions before have. She will have more influence on this little soul than any other living person.  

What I love about bringing the stories to birth is the symbolic and actual looking to the past for strength. While new to Angela, the maternal lineup that precedes her coming has been going on for thousands of years. What did they know? And what can they share with this new mother?  

Her great, great grandmother Patty Sessions delivered 4000 babies as a midwife.  Great great, grandmother Rachel told the sheriff who came to take the cows for payment because the crops failed when there was no water; "I have a young baby, and I need the milk." He responded, "Lady, I will leave you the best cow." and he did.  Great, great grandmother Anna crossed the ocean from Germany with her husband, baby and toddler to give them a better life.  Great, great grandmother Jean rode the trolley car every day to go to work to provide food for her six children and great, great grandmother Clara, seven months pregnant made a bed for her three children in the train station when there was no place to stay. These are a few of the stories in the bag.

In these stories, she can find sanctity of life, determination, and courage. She can find compassion, hope, and joy. She can find strength, beauty, and stability. According to the oft-cited study from Emory University,  knowing family history gives a sense of wellbeing, emotional stability, connection and identity.  (Deseret News) Who better to look to for strength than those who sacrificed to love and bring you here?  While my daughter is far away, I know that she and her husband won't be without family. The family is packed in the bag!

Helping Others Get Past Barriers

Ahhh...the end of the year, a time for self-reflection and self-assessment. The joy and brutality of reality!  And the great news is: Yes! I can change! The very fact that we can identify where we want to improve is evidence that we can. Name it and claim it! Or name it and forsake it. 

Who are you? And what do you love? What are your strengths? Skills? Fears? Weaknesses? What do you want to be known for? What do you want to overcome? What scares you the most? What gives you peace? What do you have to contribute to others? Who do you want to please?  What will you be glad you did? What will you wish you had done? What holds you back? What motivates you? What do you feel is your life mission? Do you know the answers to those for you as well as the ones you love?

Recently I asked myself some hard questions and wrote down my responses. I was looking for more joy and chose to change some simple routines. One was to be at the crossroads with snacks and a listening ear when the children come home from school.  Another was to make space dailyfor something I love to do. Results often come from small consistent changes. Results also come from compassionate listeners who reflect our thoughts and feelings when we get stuck or have difficulty clarifying or recognizing where the obstacles are.

The day I came home from my little self-assessment, my son met me in the kitchen and  said, "Mom do you want to talk about last night's argument about how to clean up?" I agreed and He said, “You are fearful about meals.” I agreed and he asked, "Why?" With paper and pencil we went through the reasons why and it was an interesting exercise. I had all kinds of negative emotions wrapped up in everything to do with food and it was helpful to identify them. One was that there wasn’t enough time for me to fix food and get my stuff done. Another one was the children won’t turn out right unless they help with home and meals. I listed more reasons on paper.  For two hours he listened to me. He helped me examine my thoughts and face them. The day before he had asked himself, "What is the one thing I could do to help my mom?" His conclusion was to help me walk through my emotional barriers related to food. By the time we were done we had spent about 4 1/2 hours in discussion. We spent half a day to solve this problem! We talked about ownership and strategies, and he walked me out to the freezer where I started to implement some solutions. What a gift of understanding to help me move forward.

The process was a win-win because I was empowered to face a fear and he would get better food! When we help others reach their goals, often we find ourselves reaching our own. Success is often on the other side of helping someone else. Careful listening and understanding can provide entrance to another's heart and insight into our own journey. After this experience I find myself more aware of barriers each of us face and the part I could play in helping others remove blocks and barriers to their goals. So often we find identity and personal power to move forward as others listen carefully to us and express faith in us - a simple but powerful hinge on which progress moves.