Reflections on Mothers Day

A compass showing four directions NESW describes Mother's Day to me.

First. True North. I look the direction of my mother as the most powerful force in my life because of her deep devotion to motherhood. While I struggled mightily raising a large family, I knew, absolutely knew, within the depths of my soul  that meaning beyond mortality was in choosing motherhood. Her laser focus in this direction is her greatest gift to me. I drew upon her reservoir of understanding over and over, and will forever and ever, worlds without end, be grateful for her commitment to what she knew.

Second. East. I look the direction of my sister, Julie, and countless others who did not bear children but loved, nurtured, comforted and encouraged others and are mothers in every sense of the word. I still remember the emptiness of losing my first child just before Mother's Day. Empty womb. Empty hands. Empty home. Surely motherhood is not a children count, but a heart meter. Someday all losses will be made up through Christ.

Third. Going South. Sometimes I feel massive inadequacy. More acutely aware of my shortcomings, and seeing the gap between reality and vision is sometimes painful. I now see Mother's Day as honoring the messy work of family life, seeking to give thanks and partner with God, knowing He has a plan and with Him all things are possible.

Fourth. West. I honor and give thanks to my mothers and fathers who came before me. Past generations have made the rising generation possible. I believe children are the joy, delight and hope of the ages!  Family life is where we prayerfully and hopefully emerge loving, forgiving, and eternal family. It is also where we learn the most valuable lessons of our lives. A beautiful circle is created - as my children's lives once came through me, now bring joyous life to me. Their children, their hopes, their dreams, their learnings provide profound direction to my life.

"Here is Hope"

"Here is Hope."

 
Those are the words Mary the mother of Jesus sung in the musical drama "The Lamb of God" by Rob Gardner. What is absolutely stunning thing about those words, is when she sings them. She sings it as Jesus gives up his life and dies on the cross - the moment when it feels like all hope is gone. It is her stunning declaration of God's power at what appears to be the end of hope.

Mary the Mother of Jesus, certainly was exceptional, but I believe her words echoes the hope of many mothers. They see hope in each child, their capacity, and mission, even though life may be stacked against them and it might seem as if all is lost.

So when my daughter asked me to gather stories from my life, I saw a path to sharing that, like Mary, my source of hope is in Jesus Christ. I wanted to share the hope I feel as I journey through life in all of its glory and messiness. My desire is my children will feel hope, knowing that life is not perfect, but perfectly set up for us to learn and love. I want my children and grandchildren to see hope written throughout the stories I am gathering from my life. Here are a few of the stories I have gathered:

• My sister had a life of health challenges, with constant pain and 30 surgeries in the last 12 years of her shortened life. I want my children to find hope as I share her humility and desire to learn what God wanted her to from the challenges life gave her. 
• My Dad shared bible stories with us often, especially the story of Joseph in Egypt. My hope is they will find hope in the magnificent forgiveness and mercy that Joseph models. 
• While canoeing down the Snake River I tumbled into the churning rapids called Piledriver. I climbed back in, and finished the trip. As I tell the story, I hope the symbolism will give them courage to look to Christ and climb back in their challenges. 

When I shared the story of getting back in the canoe when the rapids threw me overboard, with a struggling child, I sensed hope. We all need to know that there is respite ahead, we are not alone and we can overcome. I believe gathering and sharing experiences will give my family hope in ways unknown to me today as I write. I believe they will see patterns of God at work in all our lives. I hope they will draw strength from my hope.

If we write our stories, we have the opportunity to claim our values, and show who we trust. The hope is my children and grandchildren will say, "I'm not alone," as they read my little book of stories and look to Christ as the co-author of their lives and hope for deliverance saying as Mary did of Christ, "Here is Hope."

"God Meant It Unto Good"

"God meant it unto good." -Genesis 50:20

This is the phrase said by Joseph in Egypt as he reassures his brothers and offers forgiveness. This - after he is thrown in a pit and sold into slavery, then serves as a slave for 13 years and endures merciless treatment at the hand of his brothers? Really? What might have been the best years of his life, he spent toiling away as a prisoner and enduring false accusations. This phrase "God meant it unto good," illustrates what Joseph could really see. He saw God's hand and hope for family relationships and refused to harbor the resentment and anger that could have easily overcome him.

In those years of divine tutoring, Joseph in Egypt, leaves prison, comes before pharaoh, interprets his troubling dreams and then wonder of wonders, is appointed second in command of all Egypt. He is assigned to gather and disperse the grain for the next fourteen years that the people of Egypt will eat and have bread. Through God's grace he rises from slave to power.

Along come his hungry brothers to buy corn when they learn there is food in Egypt. And there Joseph is, not known to them, in a place of power to administer mercy or justice; to forgive or punish. Joseph tested his brothers, and chose to forgive all, saying to them, "God meant it unto good." The story in all of its intricate details is a moving rendition of harshness then heart rending tenderness. I can only imagine that moment where Joseph reveals himself to his brethren and weeps. Ultimately the story testifies of  the power and joy of redemption and God's love. 

I've been pondering this for weeks, well, years actually. This was the favorite story my dad would tell and retell us, his children, then grandchildren for decades. He loved this story - oh how he loved this story! So now as I approach this story as an adult with new layers of understanding and life's challenges, I try to make sense of difficulty, pain and loss. Family lessons are pulsing through the narrative - this incredible story of relationships; husband-wife, parent-child and sibling. Its relevance is as current as todays news full of divisiveness in families, communities and nations. I feel and hear my Dad's voice seeking to share his knowledge and wisdom with me through this 4000 year old story. Life will bring you pain and betrayal. What will you do with it? Do you have the faith to say, "God meant it unto good?"  

I feel my Dad's very soul coming through the generations and Joseph's influence coming through the antiquities as I hope to pass on these truths to my children, that they may say in difficulty, "God meant it unto good." 

Hearts Knit Half A World Apart

At 2:00 AM this morning I joined a prayer vigil through zoom that extended to a women's shelter, City of Goodness Center now doubling as a bomb shelter in south west Ukraine. Ukraine is in a full scale war and Marta, the director, introduced us to many mothers, women and children, who have recently come there for refuge. Our hearts knit together as we briefly heard their stories. There is a sisterhood among women and mothers where borders and language barriers melt away. It is a place where life and family is near and dear to our hearts and we feel to help each other. We cried, laughed, waved, and prayed for all. We spontaneously sang Happy Birthday to a young girl whose birthday is today. Marta led us on a tour of their shelter, made for 70, now holding over double that amount, between air raid warnings where they stayed in the basement and tell the children they are playing hide and seek. They had a difficult night with many bombings throughout the country. Today they will make mats for the newcomers, bake bread for their husbands, fathers and sons in the military and take care of their beautiful children. My heart goes out to them in the the uncertainty, the loss, the fear, the deprivation. Those on the zoom call just wanted to reach through and give these brave women a hug.

Big Ocean Women (BOW) initiated the zoom meeting. They knew a Ukrainian on the Wasatch Front who translated and Marta who is in Ukraine. BOW leader Kim shared a message from Proverbs 31 about virtuous women. One definition of virtuous is "warrior" and she explained that the Ukrainian women in the shelter are warriors.

At times we may feel like there is nothing we can do; however, here are three things Kim invited us to do:

1. Pray for the continued intercession of divinity for the protection and support of the vulnerable on both sides of the war front.

2. Donate for Marta and Dr. Zhovnir Volodymyr, head of pediatrics at a children's hospital in Ukraine who are caring for the most vulnerable. The money will go to expanding the facility, beds, cribs, medical supplies, food and clothing. The funds are gathered by Big Ocean Women and Worldwide Unified. Funds will go directly to those in need. https://secure.givelively.org/donate/big-ocean-women/ukraine-support

3. Use the hashtag #safeharborukraine if you wish to send an encouraging message. #safeharborukraine posts will be translated into Ukrainian for women at the shelter.

It amazes me how good women are at connecting and helping each other. Because I belong to this organization, I learned about this meeting and met these wonderful Ukrainian women. Yesterday I didn't know any of them by name and today I'm praying to all powerful God to preserve, intervene and protect those women, children families on both sides of this conflict.

Through a middle of the night meeting, I now feel connected to a group on the other side of the world in a full scale war. I can do something to help and trust God that He will hear the prayers of His children. #safeharborukraine

It's Time

A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; - Ecclesiastes 3:6 

My brain is still sorting after three months of clearing out my mom's home. It was a time to cast away many things. It was a time to keep and cherish meaningful things. 

At this beginning of the new year, 2022, it is time to sort again - this time sorting through what to keep and what to throw away, mentally, and emotionally. To cast off or keep habits. To get visions or lose illustions.

In her book "Through His Eyes," Virginia Pearce talks about cleaning out the closet of your mind. Just as we look at each item in the closet to determine if it stays, so we should look at each belief and ask is it True. True with a capital T, meaning eternally and forever true. Or small t - meaning just a good idea. Or not true and it needs to go. 

Over the years, my beliefs about pleasing people, making choices, and personal autonomy have all taken some twists and turns. Understandings about what I want and what brings joy have also take some twists and turn. Some beliefs have firmly stayed and become more bright and fixed than ever, such as my understandings about God, motherhood and family. Ever brighter beacons that tug at my heart and speak to my soul, include asking questions in prayer, temples, and time alone pondering.

Critical and core to moving forward in a new year with any kind of effective direction, are the questions and reflections that invite us to lose and keep, gather and cast away. Questions that invite us to examine the past as a prequel to plans for the future. Here I share some of my favorites:

1. What do I really want? What is the alignment between my talents, my will and God's will?
2. Where am I now and where do I want to be?
3. What should I stop doing? start doing? keep doing?
4. What previous accomplishments am I most pleased with? Why?
5. What lessons have I learned from both my successes and failures?
6. What contributions and service have I given that I am most happy with?
7. What relationships have improved and what improved them?
8. What one thing could I do this year that will have the most impact on the next 10 years?
9. If I weren't afraid, what would I do?
10. What do I want to change most about myself?

Goals setting for some time seemed to be somewhat elusive to me. I didn't understand the intensity and focus that was needed as well as the introspection and honesty that goals require. Patience with  and persistence were also key pieces. My absolute favorite practices that I'm so grateful to have discovered and that are making a big impact include: 

• Have goals out, front and center, pictures, descriptions, stories, daily reviews.
• Be relentless in identifying and executing small steps to achieve the goal.
• Pay attention to obstacles. Where needed, rewrite the story, that creates your end goal. 
• Choose a theme for the year and one word to focus on. Reflect on it every day.
• Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate every progress, every step, every effort, even failures that help you move forward with greater clarity.

It's time. It's time to ask the questions. It's time to reflect. It's time to act on promises and promptings. It's time to ask the questions, make the plans and act with purpose and passion. Its time to create, rise and move to a new level. And then, the prayer is that at the conclusion of each period of creation we can say as God did, "It was good." 

They Were the Refuge

The key goes to the buyer in a few short days. The childhood home can no longer be my refuge. Its time to move on. But oh the memories!  The memories, the many good memories that pour forth from every room, even though the clothing, furniture and dishes are gone. As I move from room to room, I realize that these sweet experiences are now to be stored in my memory to draw upon and shared with my family to learn from.

My Father passed away nearly four years ago and my Mother passed away 3 months ago. My sweet sister and I have been cleaning for days, crying, laughing, and reminiscing. We laughed over the red cup with the micky mouse ears that we all wanted to drink from. We remembered mom's love for roses as we cleaned out the vases, especially the tiny glasses she put her sweetheart roses in. We cried as we found the hospital records at our sisters death over 35 years ago. 

And then there was the similac in a rusty old can pobably over 53 years old. In the family room were the heating vents where we would sit and read and stay warm on snowy days.  The corner bedroom was where Dad would drill us in math or reading facts. The corner of the closet under the coats was where I would hide and read in hopes of not having to do dishes! The old wax paper bags for our sandwiches now look quaint and endearing. The sewing machine with its many bobbin threads tells of many projects that mom did for us and with us. The closet once held the pheasants they caught and forgot about - two of them, filling the home with the smell of rotting birds. The kitchen counters were where we bottled many peaches from our trees. 

But the real value wasn't in those events or things. It was in the love of God and family that permeated everything Mom and Dad did. Everything they touched spoke of creation and love. The tools and crafts in the home created beauty, spoke of industry and provided opportunities for us to work together. This was especially true of gardening and sewing. Dad led out in planting a garden every year. From the faith that goes into planting a seed, to the responsibility of watering and weeding, to harvest and eating was all part of a joyous celebration for him. We didn't feel that way at the time, but his enthusiasm was contagious. Mom helped us choose fabric and patterns and taught us the joy of creativity. There was much of frustration in the learning curve, but her joy was also contagious. 

Most of all, most importantly was the love we felt in every one of the hundreds of times we came back to visit after being married and having eight children. That home was a refuge. No, THEY were the refuge. Their hearts were big enough to take in all of us, feed us pizza, put up tomato juice with us, and just plain listen. Mom was so interested in every thing we were doing and Dad always full of loving concern over our struggles. 

Growing up was good but there were very difficult times as well as relationship struggles. What I find most miraculous is how over time they created this refuge for all their children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren. Their rough edges became smooth and their example life saving. They grew into it year by year.

So as the home empties and I look at the empty kitchen where the tablel used to be and the thought came to my mind from Les Miserable - "Empty Chairs and Empty Tables." My Dad used to bring up that song. I felt the deep somber part of it today as I looked at that empty room. But my Dad would probably say to me today if he could, "Go enjoy the full tables you have now, Diane, and make those tables full of love and joy. If you learned it, then go live it." 

And if he said that, he'd be right. Everything that matters is in my mind and heart. I want to fill my children's hearts with the goodness and light that permeated every corner of that home. If they can find a refuge in my home and more importantly in me, then I will in part reciprocate what my parents did for me. That is a comforting thought as I prepare to leave that empty home soon, and create fulness in mine.

Gratitude is Universal

 God is gone up with a shout, the Lord with the sound of a trump. (Psalm 4:7)

And a shout and a trumpet it was! With gratitude and celebration we all met in the Colorado home of my daughter and her husband for Thanksgiving.  All of us. Everyone came together at their generous invitation. The table was filled with the traditional trimmings prepared by each of our willing hands. Seeing people I love serving and sharing with each other, and acknowledging God as the source of their blessings is truly a divine delight.

Thanksgiving Day is an American tradition - but giving thanks didn't begin in America. It is a common value and connecting point through religions, cultures and beliefs in all the world as well as the connecting point through the ages.

Consider these statements from diverse sources about giving thanks:

• "Abundance can be had simply by consciously receiving what has already been given." — Sufism
• “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”   -G. K. Chesterton
• "Sharing and giving are the ways of God." — Native American Sauk
• "Truly Allah is bountiful towards the people, but most of them do not give thanks." - Quran
• "If you cannot be grateful for what you have received, then be thankful for what you have been spared." — Yiddish Proverb
• “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.”   -Cicero
• “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”  - Albert Einstein 

And consider historically and culturally these gratitude celebrations:

• Sukkot is celebrated by Jews around the world. Families build huts where they eat and sometimes sleep for the seven days of celebration which includes special prayers and holiday meals.  Wands of myrtle, willow and palms are shaken every day in every direction to honor the land's gifts. This yearly holiday celebrates the harvest and remembers the time of the Exodus when the Israelites occupied temporary shelters in the desert. 

• A Chinese tradition celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival.  It is also called the Moon Festival as it coincides withe a full moon in the eighth lunar month.  Giving thanks for the harvest and encouraging life giving sunlight are part of the ceremonies.  It is also a favorite time for matchmaking as this time of year is associated with fertility. 

• The Yam Festival is celebrated by the Ewe people of Ghana.  As the first yams appear and the end of the rainy season occurs, the celebration begins.  The festival is largely aimed at averting famine in the coming year and is marked by feasts, dances and parades. 

What if in addition to annual celebrations we created daily devotions of gratitude? What if throughout the day we looked for God's hand and expressed our thanks to any who have reached out in any way? What if we retired each evening recording with thanks what we saw and felt from God and others? Truly the profoundest ideas are fleshed out in the small moments of every day. 

Daily rituals form and shape who we are and how we think.  The prayers, praises, gratitude texts, a thank you phone call, the kind note and the verbal appreciation are all manifestations of this principle of gratitude. Is it possible that daily private gratitude rituals and expressions would create happier families, stronger communities, even global change?  If so this personal postive energy could move outward affecting all who come in contact with this new vibration; this energy could cause a climate change of our own souls that reverberated into the entire world in which we would eventually feel the temperature difference.  I'm just naive enough to believe that is possible.  I'm just simple enough to believe the glow and warmth of human gratitude can change the world. 

"Being grateful all the time isn’t easy. But it’s when you least feel thankful that you are most in need of what gratitude can give you: perspective. Gratitude can transform any situation. It alters your vibration, moving you from negative energy to positive. It’s the quickest, easiest most powerful way to effect change in your life — this I know for sure."  -Oprah Winfrey